The holiday season can be a whirlwind of stress—packed with obligatory family gatherings, awkward conversations with distant relatives, and the pressure of finding the perfect gift for someone who doesn’t even like ham. You might find yourself daydreaming about skipping the festivities and spending Christmas alone, thinking it would be a peaceful sanctuary. But, hold on a second—you may want to reconsider.
I used to believe I was immune to the deep-seated sadness that often accompanies spending Christmas solo. After all, I enjoy my own company so much that I sometimes feel a sense of relief when friends cancel plans. However, the holidays carry a societal weight of togetherness—think carolers singing, mistletoe moments, and bustling homes filled with laughter and joy. Choosing to be alone on such a day feels like a breach of an unspoken agreement that we’re all supposed to be with loved ones during this festive season.
The Best Laid Plans
Due to the complex family dynamics involving my siblings’ partners, my family often celebrates Christmas a bit earlier. The year I found myself celebrating Christmas alone, we had our family get-together at the beginning of December. By the time the actual holiday arrived, I was excited about the prospect of having a few days entirely to myself. I declined invitations from friends for “orphan dinners” and movie nights, planning to indulge in a luxurious staycation filled with sleep-ins, books, and copious amounts of snacks. I envisioned a glorious retreat where I could binge-watch shows to my heart’s content.
On Christmas morning, while families gathered around the tree, I went for a jog in the brisk, empty park. It was eerily quiet, with only a homeless man feeding stray cats breaking the silence. I convinced myself that I was fortunate to enjoy this solitude while others were inside, wrapped up in holiday cheer.
When Loneliness Strikes
But soon, the reality of my isolation hit hard. I felt more like an outsider than a lucky soul. The stores were closed, and I knew my phone would remain silent, as everyone I knew was caught up in their own Christmas celebrations.
After a long shower, I faced a wardrobe dilemma: Should I dress up for a day at home or throw on my comfiest pajamas? I opted for a middle ground—cozy clothes that were basically pajamas without holes. With the radio playing a never-ending loop of Handel’s Messiah, the sun began to set around 2 p.m., casting a gray gloom that felt all too despairing. My attempts to read were thwarted by the silence; my apartment felt colder, like it was in on the joke that no one should be alone on Christmas.
A Change of Plans
By 9 p.m., I had reached my breaking point and called my friend Sam. “Get dressed,” he said, “we’re going out.” Over takeout, I recounted my lonely day, the chill that seemed to seep into my bones, and how my well-laid plans had fallen apart.
“You can’t just opt out of the holidays,” Sam reminded me.
“But shouldn’t it be okay to spend a day alone without feeling like I’m trapped in an endless loop of solitude?” I argued.
“In theory, yes, but in practice…” he replied, and he was right. For many of us who associate Christmas with gatherings, trying to spend the day alone is generally a bad idea—even if we think we despise the holiday.
While it’s certainly possible for some to enjoy a day of self-care and relaxation on Christmas, for those of us accustomed to the hustle and bustle of family traditions, going solo can lead to feelings of isolation and sadness. If you’re considering spending the holiday alone, remember that you might want to rethink that decision.
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Summary
Spending Christmas alone might seem appealing at first, but the reality can be quite different. The weight of societal expectations around togetherness can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. While some may enjoy a solo day, many find it hard to cope with the emptiness that can come when opting out of the holiday spirit.