You might think I’m a bit old-school, but I still prefer pen and paper over apps. Back in my mid-20s, when eHarmony and Match took the dating world by storm, everyone around me seemed to be diving in. I watched my single friends create profiles in secret, and after witnessing a few successful matches at weddings, I decided to give it a shot myself.
One lazy Sunday, I teamed up with a friend to craft our profiles, answering numerous questions about our personalities, values, and what we sought in a partner. I even created a new email just for online dating, bursting with excitement at the thought of finding “the one.”
But as I sifted through potential matches, the initial thrill faded. Responses were few and far between until Gabe entered the picture. His profile caught my eye, and we hit it off with daily emails. I was falling for him—until life threw me a curveball. I received devastating news about my father’s health, and when I shared this with Gabe, everything changed. Suddenly, after our daily chats, he disappeared. His one-sentence reply, “I don’t date girls who have complicated issues,” cut deep, and I was left heartbroken.
With my confidence shattered, I stepped away from the online dating scene. Sure, I had a few dates and flings, but as I approached my 30s, a friend convinced me to give it another shot on a global dating site. Hesitantly, I jumped back in, creating a profile again and combing through photos, hoping for better luck this time.
My friend found success almost immediately, while I was met with men seeking a submissive partner or wanting nothing more than my American citizenship. Despite reaching out to promising matches, my inbox was silent. Eventually, I pulled the plug on my account again.
After moving to both D.C. and Denver, I experimented with different dating sites, but each time I found myself disabling the account after a series of disappointing dates or no replies. Now, at 38, I’ve finally come to a realization: online dating just isn’t for me. Sure, it works for many, but I’m not a fan of how profiles can be misleading. Crafting answers with friends felt forced, and I quickly realized I was just shopping for a date. Plus, ghosting just felt too easy.
After 13 years of navigating seven dating sites, I’ve decided to call it quits. While it seems everyone else is finding love online, I’ve chosen to embrace my single life without the distraction. Since logging off, I’ve never felt better. I’ve stopped fixating on when I’ll meet someone and have given myself the freedom to enjoy the present.
Instead of scrolling through profiles, I’m diving into hobbies I love like hiking and writing, while cherishing time spent with those who matter most. I’ve found joy in being present, and I even find myself smiling at strangers more often—you never know where a simple smile might lead!
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In summary, I’ve discovered that stepping away from online dating has opened up a world of happiness and fulfillment. Rather than focusing on finding a partner, I’m now enjoying the beauty of the present moment.