Life is a remarkable educator. Over the past four decades, it has pushed my limits, challenged my views, and reshaped my understanding of the world. From profound experiences like coping with a parent’s passing and the struggle to support the other, to navigating menopause at just 38 and facing a midlife crisis shortly after, I’ve learned countless lessons. I’ve also picked up on lighter matters, such as the importance of avoiding prunes in public and questioning if it’s wise to wear makeup to bed. Here are 40 of my most valuable insights from life’s classroom:
- You truly master the art of swearing by the time menopause hits.
- Pigs can soar! Unless, of course, you’ve never boarded a plane.
- Always ensure there’s toilet paper before you sit down.
- Eyeliner and bedtime—definitely a no-go.
- Cabotage isn’t about sabotaging with cabbage, trust me.
- A girl will always hope for birthday fanfare—even at 41!
- Don’t torture yourself with negative thoughts.
- Hide the spare change where your partner can’t discover it.
- Ice cream may not compare to love, and chocolate is no match for sex.
- Never tell your best friend that her diet isn’t working.
- Sneezing while munching on crackers is a recipe for disaster.
- While not everyone has a photographic memory, many have iPhones.
- Some mysteries are better left unsolved.
- Math can certainly “prove your humanity,” especially when logging in online.
- If you stick to the truth, you won’t have to think twice.
- Some days you’re the bug; other days, you’re the windshield.
- Impulsiveness isn’t always the best route to take.
- Stay away from prunes—just trust me on this one.
- Your life shouldn’t serve as a cautionary tale for others.
- Some people truly hit the jackpot in the genetic lottery.
- Depression isn’t simply a lack of enthusiasm.
- Always wear underwear with white shorts—it’s a must.
- We spend one-seventh of our lives enduring Mondays.
- Only plant pumpkins if you have a lot of friends to share them with.
- Nudiustertian doesn’t refer to Martian nudists, believe it or not.
- If love is blind, marriage is an absolute eye-opener.
- By the third bottle of wine, much of the evening is a blur.
- Be cautious when operating a gear stick.
- Sometimes the princess is the true villain.
- Just thinking about buying a treadmill doesn’t count as actually doing it.
- The reality of sexual deprivation is very real.
- A remote control isn’t the ideal place for dead batteries.
- Brain farts? Yes, they do exist!
- Winning a Nobel Prize for silliness isn’t the pinnacle of achievement.
- Getting locked out in your PJs during a -30 degree day isn’t as amusing as it seems.
- Don’t complain about your mistakes; learn from them!
- The phrase “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help” is chilling.
- Tittynope has nothing to do with breasts.
- Women can also undergo rectal exams—surprise!
- I still have plenty more to learn!
These lessons are a mix of humor and wisdom that have shaped my perspective. To dive deeper into other engaging topics, check out this related post on home insemination. Also, for authoritative insights on insemination, visit Make a Mom’s Baby Maker Kit and explore Johns Hopkins Fertility Center for excellent pregnancy resources.
In summary, life is a continuous journey of learning. Embrace the lessons, laugh at the mishaps, and always be open to new experiences!