Childhood comes with its fair share of awkward moments: think bowl haircuts, enforced bedtimes, and the constant need for help with basic hygiene. Some might argue that these little embarrassments are essential for a child’s safety and growth. Sure, I can see the point in keeping a seven-year-old away from the driver’s seat, but let’s talk about some traditions we subject kids to that are just plain unfair, like the dreadful card game called War.
War: A Game of No Skill
You remember War, right? It’s that painfully simple game where two players split a deck and flip cards to see who has the higher one. The winner takes both cards, and the game continues until one player claims the whole deck. It can drag on for hours. The only excitement comes when both players flip over cards of equal value—cue the dramatic “war,” where they flip additional cards to determine who takes all four.
Even as a child who could be easily fooled into thinking neighborhood kids were my best pals, I knew War was a total snooze. It required no skill and taught nothing meaningful beyond the fact that some numbers are bigger than others—something any savvy kid already knows.
The Real Issue with War
The real downside of War is that it teaches children to value winning for its own sake. It sends the message that intelligence and strategy are irrelevant and that the only goal is to come out on top. I never felt a sense of achievement after winning a game of War—just as no one should feel triumphant winning Bingo or scratch-off lottery tickets, though at least those games offer a chance at some cash!
In War, the only reward is questionable bragging rights. You might not have done anything to earn your victory, yet you can boast about it. And let’s be honest—who will remember your opponent’s name by the end of the day? As Churchill once said, “History is written by the victors.”
It’s Not Just About War
I don’t have kids (you’re welcome, world), but as someone who once was a child, I can relate to the anxiety. My sister recently shared that her tween daughter lies awake at night before running The Mile, a component of the now-rebranded President’s Challenge (formerly the President’s Physical Fitness Test).
The problem isn’t that we assess children’s fitness; it’s how we label winners and losers. The fastest kids received medals and accolades, creating a harsh social divide: the speedy ones were celebrated, while the slower ones faced derision.
Teaching Kids Valuable Lessons
I’m not suggesting we wrap kids in cotton wool or give everyone a trophy just for showing up. However, many former slowpokes like me took years to shake off the trauma associated with The Mile. For far too long, I believed that if I wasn’t fast, running wasn’t for me.
Focusing solely on winning and simplistic measures of success only breeds competitiveness that can lead kids down the wrong path. I’m not here to criticize gym teachers or make sweeping parenting declarations, but I believe kids can learn far more valuable lessons from sports than just “winning is everything.” We should encourage them to enjoy physical activity, promoting a lifelong love of exercise—after all, that’s the real goal of fitness challenges.
Instead of forcing kids to endure War, why not introduce them to bridge? It’s so complicated that no one ever really finishes a game, allowing for conversations about strategy, skill, and the journey itself, rather than a singular focus on victory or defeat.
Funny story: in tenth grade, I told my school newspaper that sophomore swimming was pointless, and a group of gym teachers nearly had a meltdown over budget cuts. I ended up crying in the locker room. Gym teachers and I have a complicated history.
In summary, let’s rethink the way we introduce competition to our kids. Winning isn’t everything; it’s about enjoying the experience and learning along the way. For more on navigating the journey of parenthood and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the CDC or explore this informative guide on home insemination kits and you can also find more insights on our other blog post about the topic.