As my kids grow, they’re surrounded by two distinct role models in the workforce—one who’s a shining example and another who’s, well, not quite as inspiring. My partner, Alex, is a whirlwind of productivity, often juggling multiple projects at once. He’s so dedicated that HR once informed him he had accrued a staggering ten years’ worth of sick leave! Meanwhile, I’ve taken a more leisurely approach. After our first child arrived, I stepped back from my career, and I’ve never quite matched Alex’s level of discipline when it comes to launching and finishing projects. My job has always been about ensuring I earn enough to enjoy family time and pursue hobbies outside of work.
Research by Dr. Lisa Harper, a professor at the University of California, and Sam Reed, a people analytics expert at a prominent tech firm, suggests that the biggest factor influencing a child’s work ethic is, believe it or not, their parents. In an enlightening article by Jamie Foster for ParentWise, Harper and Reed identified three different work orientations:
- a “job” mindset, where work is merely a means to pay the bills;
- a “career” mindset, where individuals find satisfaction in measurable advancement;
- a “calling” mindset, where people would engage in their work even without monetary compensation—think of roles like artists, musicians, and social workers.
Naturally, people can transition between these orientations throughout their lives, and they often blend together. However, the way you and your partner view work will likely have a profound impact on your children. As Harper pointed out in her interview with Foster, “When parents come home lamenting about their jobs and counting down the days until retirement, their children are likely to perceive work as a tedious grind.”
This isn’t particularly surprising, but I’ve always wished that my kids would transcend my own work habits. I sometimes fear they might view their high-achieving dad as the true embodiment of work ethic, overshadowing the often unnoticed but equally important contributions of a stay-at-home parent. The everyday efforts, like prepping meals for the week or supporting family members, often go unrecognized, while career successes are highlighted.
On a positive note, the researchers noted that it is indeed possible for multiple work orientations to coexist. They cited a young woman who mirrored her father’s ambitious career approach yet also made time for volunteer work with nonprofits—reflecting the community-oriented values instilled by her mother.
Like all parents, I hope my children carve their own paths, finding careers that serve both as passions and means of financial support. As a former theater enthusiast, I know firsthand how challenging this balance can be. However, I’ve met plenty of artists who have successfully navigated their careers by blending jobs that pay the bills with fulfilling creative pursuits.
The most vital lesson I want to impart to my kids is that they have agency over their work lives and can adapt as their circumstances and desires evolve. The job market of the next two decades will favor individuals with diverse skill sets and adaptability. Sometimes a paycheck will take precedence, while at other times, they can devote more energy to their true calling. And, of course, there may be moments when stepping back to care for family becomes the priority—because, ultimately, work isn’t everything.
In summary, as parents, the influence we have on our children’s work ethics is profound. By modeling varied approaches to work and encouraging flexibility, we can help them navigate their future careers with confidence and purpose. For further insights on fertility and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and how to navigate the path to parenthood.