The ’80s were a wild era filled with over-the-top glam and rock ‘n’ roll excess. The iconic hair bands of that time took the flamboyant spirit of the ’70s rock scene and cranked it up a notch, creating a vibrant world of glitter, leather, and catchy anthems. While these bands may have looked outrageous—think Kiss in towering platform boots and Jon Bon Jovi in skin-tight leather—there’s no denying their music still resonates today, especially among us nostalgic moms. Picture this: I’m pulling up to my kid’s school, with “Livin’ on a Prayer” blasting from my speakers, and I see several other moms grooving along. Whether they’ve got their hair tied up in messy buns or are sporting mismatched yoga pants, we share a unique bond over our questionable fashion choices and love for classic rock. Here’s why we would have made some epic hair band members:
1. Our Wild Manes
My hair care routine is practically non-existent; I only wash it once a week, which leads to some pretty outrageous styles. One side is slicked down while the other stands up defiantly—voila! The ultimate ’80s mullet. Hand me a can of hairspray and I’ll give Bret Michaels a run for his money.
2. Our Bold Makeup
Just the other day, my kids turned me into a walking art project with an impressive amount of eyeliner and bright eyeshadow. I currently resemble a rock star mix of Joan Jett and Alice Cooper. It’s safe to say that I could easily pass for an ’80s rocker with no problem.
3. Our Rockin’ Wardrobe
I used to wonder where those iconic leopard print leggings came from until I found myself wandering through the mom section at Target. Paired with my oversized T-shirts and DIY accessories, I could easily fit in with the most fashionable rock queens of the decade.
4. Our Attitude
Rockers of the ’80s oozed confidence, and so do we. Whether it’s rocking those tight leather pants or commanding attention with a fierce look, there’s no denying that a mom’s glare can rival Billy Idol’s best sneer, especially when we discover our kids have turned our designer handbags into toy bins.
5. Our Wild Parties
Just like Ozzy Osbourne and Nikki Sixx, our households can get a little chaotic. Sure, we may not be smashing guitars, but our kids have unleashed their own brand of mayhem—think toilet paper roll disasters and epic tantrums. It’s a wonder we ever make it through a birthday party without someone throwing up!
6. Our “Free Love” Vibe
Imagine the revolving door of groupies in a hair band’s life, and you’ll realize moms experience a similar chaos. Whether it’s midnight demands from the kids or trying to accommodate sleepovers, our beds are never quite empty—just like those rock stars’!
While my leopard print leggings and Skid Row tees may not be winning any fashion awards these days, it’s clear the ’80s would have been the perfect time for moms like us to shine. With big hair, bigger personalities, and a killer soundtrack, we would have effortlessly owned the stage. So here’s to hoping the hair band revival hits soon! Until then, I’ll be rocking out in my minivan, dreaming of the days when we could all embrace our inner rock star.
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In summary, the ’80s were a glorious time for moms to express themselves through big hair, audacious fashion, and a rock ‘n’ roll attitude. We may not be wearing leather and lace today, but we still carry that spirit in our hearts.