Ah, the ’80s—when neon was in and social media was still a futuristic dream. Sure, a lack of pumpkin spice lattes at your favorite coffee shop isn’t world-ending, but for those of us who were kids in the ’80s, certain little nuisances can definitely tug at the heartstrings. Here’s a cheeky look at 18 First World Problems that only those of us raised in that iconic decade can truly understand.
- Channel surfing late at night only to find the unedited version of Fast Times at Ridgemont High playing, but you have to rise at 5 a.m. for work. How will you ever recover?
- No matter how much you beg, your partner still refuses to recreate that epic lift from Dirty Dancing—seriously, who wouldn’t want to be Patrick Swayze’s Johnny?
- Asking your kids to “tape” a show for you, only to be met with blank stares and confusion over what that even means. Forget it; it’s too painful to explain “DVR.”
- Discovering an old disposable camera in a box of childhood treasures, only to realize you’ll never see those pictures because who develops film anymore?
- Strolling down the toy aisle and shaking your head at the “new and improved” designs of classic toys like My Little Pony. Why fix what wasn’t broken?
- Hearing Nirvana pop up on the ’80s XM Radio Station makes you want to scream. C’mon, that’s definitely a ’90s band!
- When someone claims they’ve never seen the legendary music video Thriller, you feel a mix of pity and rage. How can they not appreciate that masterpiece?
- Imagining a romantic life with your childhood crush, Rob Lowe, but reality hits when you see him gracing tabloids while you’re in sweatpants buying tampons. Why does he look the same?
- Lawn darts are now banned, meaning today’s kids will miss out on the thrilling danger of sharp objects flying through the air. What’s the world coming to?
- The local roller rink has turned into a sketchy hangout, robbing you of the chance to show your kids your backward-skating talents.
- No one sells Electric Youth perfume anymore, nor do they know who Debbie Gibson is. It’s like they’ve erased our childhood!
- It’s a bummer you can’t record songs from XM Radio to create mixtapes. How do you express your feelings now?
- Frustration mounts when you think about how much stuff you could cram into your car for a family road trip if only kids could sit in the way back like we used to in our parents’ station wagons.
- Your beloved Caboodle finally breaks, and the new ones are just lightweight imposters. It’s an irreplaceable loss!
- Hearing Footloose in the grocery store makes it impossible to concentrate on shopping until you’ve busted out some moves in the produce aisle.
- You find yourself having more awkward conversations about sensitive topics with your kids than your parents ever did, thanks to the disappearance of afterschool specials. Thanks a lot, ABC!
- While browsing the wine aisle, you can’t help but wish the labels were scratch-and-sniff stickers. Wouldn’t that make life easier?
- Waking up in the middle of the night craving Pizzarias Chips or Jell-O Pudding Pops is a real struggle. Why can’t those snacks just magically reappear?
As you navigate the perils of these ’80s First World Problems, remember you’re not alone. Catch up on reruns of classic shows on streaming platforms, and take comfort in the nostalgia of your youth. While some ’80s trends are making a comeback, let your wisdom (and old Polaroids) remind you of what not to wear a second time. Those neon jumpsuits aren’t meant for everyone!
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In summary, while the ’80s brought us an array of memorable experiences, the peculiar frustrations we face today make us uniquely nostalgic for our simpler childhoods. Embrace the quirks of growing up in that vibrant decade, and don’t forget to cherish the memories—even the frustrating ones.
