Last weekend, I found myself juggling lawn mowing, showering, vacuuming, and prepping food for a party. In the midst of my whirlwind, my 8-year-old daughter piped up, asking for a grilled cheese sandwich. “Can’t you make it, sweetie?” I replied, hoping to pass the buck. “But Mommy,” she insisted, “I want you to make it.”
Of course, we all love a good sandwich made by someone else. But my little one needs practice, especially since I once discovered that my older kids, who were then 8 and 6, didn’t even know how to butter toast. What?! I encourage my kids to do their own homework, put away their clothes, and generally be independent. Yet here they were, stumped by a task that even a chimpanzee could manage if it really tried.
That’s the crux of it, isn’t it? The desire to do things. “How about you give it a shot? I’m right here if you need help,” I suggested while continuing my cleaning frenzy. “But I don’t know how,” she whined. Deep breath. “What do you think the first step is?” I asked, trying to engage her. The next ten minutes were a comedy of errors, featuring my bright child who’d watched countless grilled cheese sandwiches being made, yet claimed she had no idea how to start. Not even a guess. Bread and cheese? What’s that?
To be honest, my patience was wearing thin, and I thought to myself, “This is ridiculous.” Teaching kids to cook can be rewarding, but in the moment, it felt like a test of endurance—especially when faced with the stubbornness of tweens. When they’re toddlers, their cooking “help” is adorable, like dumping sprinkles everywhere and posing for cute photos. But it’s a different story when they’re older and pretending to be utterly helpless. Oof!
Now that my kids are 6, 8, and 10, the kitchen adventures have become quite the spectacle. Though the grilled cheese saga was a challenge, they’re generally eager to help out. Since the infamous “Butter-Spreading Disaster of 2014,” we’ve been focusing on kitchen skills—stoves, knives, measuring cups, you name it. One child managed to create a mini swimming pool of oatmeal by misinterpreting “one cup of water” as “fill a tall glass and dump it in.” Another tried to mix up banana muffin batter in the tiniest bowl, resulting in a batter explosion. Carrots have been peeled down to mere slivers from overly enthusiastic peeling.
It’s definitely not a cooking show, but despite the mess, my kids are learning valuable lessons through trial and error. The 6-year-old loves to bread the chicken while the 10-year-old is gearing up to steam mussels together for the first time. And my 8-year-old? She eventually conquered the grilled cheese challenge and is now our champion scrambled egg maker.
Sure, there are days when I just need to take over the cooking solo, drink in hand, and listen to a podcast. And that’s perfectly fine! But more often than not, they pitch in. I wouldn’t trade these chaotic moments for anything because, in the end, that’s what family life is all about—a beautiful mess, where we learn, laugh, and grow together.
This morning, I was treated to cinnamon raisin French toast, a delightful creation by my 6- and 8-year-olds while I sipped coffee and read at the kitchen table. It was delicious, both in flavor and in meaning.
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In summary, cooking with tweens can be messy and chaotic, but the lessons they learn and the joy they share make it all worthwhile. Embrace the hot mess, and you might just find some unexpected deliciousness along the way.