As a single parent, I’ve finally discovered the importance of carving out time for myself, and it’s simply wonderful. After enduring long days filled with parenting responsibilities, there’s nothing quite like slipping on my jacket and stepping out the door without my child. For moms like me, finding moments of solitude is a rare and often essential escape.
The Importance of Adult Time
As a single mother, nights out with friends have become a cherished rarity. When you’re the primary caregiver 24/7, stepping away—even just for a few hours—is not merely a luxury; it’s vital for my mental health. When I get the chance to unwind and enjoy some adult company, I seize it without hesitation!
Not often do I venture out without my son, which only adds to the excitement of these outings. I tend to plan these nights out like precious resources, trying to mitigate the guilt that comes with leaving him behind. Yes, the guilt is unnecessary, but as a mom, it’s hard to shake off. I want him to know that I adore spending time with him, yet sometimes I crave adult conversations free from the demands of parenting. Even if it’s just dinner with a friend, those few hours of laughter and relaxation—perhaps over a glass of wine—are rejuvenating.
Breaking Free from Parenting Identity
As single moms, it’s all too easy to let our identities revolve solely around our children. With only 24 hours in a day, every moment feels accounted for, and spending money on a night out can feel frivolous. Finding childcare can be a challenge, and it’s tempting to believe that a night out isn’t worth the trouble. But when the stress becomes overwhelming, and a friend invites me out, I know I need to go. Trust me, the regret of staying home to binge-watch TV while cleaning up is far worse than the hassle of a night out.
There’s always something on the to-do list, even when the little one is asleep—the laundry, the dishes, and all the other chores loom large. But taking a break from it all, even briefly, reminds me that I am more than just “Mom.” Beneath the labels, I’m still “Lila,” and she deserves attention too! Those evenings out leave me feeling reenergized—the joy of adult conversation and a delicious meal works wonders for my spirit. I can share my thoughts on topics other than children’s shows or toys, and delve into my personal interests. It’s refreshing and fulfilling.
Embracing Independence
I didn’t realize how much I needed this until I returned to it. Until recently, I felt uneasy about leaving my son, who’s now 3.5 years old. In his earlier years, he required my constant attention, so I avoided being away unless absolutely necessary. But as he’s grown more independent, I’ve learned that it’s not only okay to leave him—it’s beneficial for both of us. He gets to enjoy special time with his grandma, and I can indulge in dessert or another cocktail while catching up with friends.
As a single mom working from home, my son and I are together nearly all the time. Initially, stepping away felt daunting. Adjusting to this new routine was challenging, but it also became clear that I needed time apart for my own well-being and, ultimately, for his benefit too.
Rediscovering Myself
Since I’ve started prioritizing outings with friends, I’ve rediscovered parts of myself that had been overshadowed by motherhood. It’s easy to let your identity become wrapped up in parenting, but true living means breaking free from those confines. Self-care is essential, and single moms deserve to prioritize it, even if there are obstacles to navigate.
Some aspects of single parent life are unchangeable; there’s no one to share bedtime duties with, finances can be tight, and burnout is often a reality. But it doesn’t have to be that way all the time. I’m learning to reach out to friends for a drink or dinner, and not only does it help me regain my sanity, but it also makes me a better mom. My son deserves to see me at my best, and making time for kid-free nights is a step in that direction.
Resources for Self-Care and Parenting
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Conclusion
In summary, as a single mom, taking time for myself is not just a luxury—it’s a necessity that revitalizes me and enhances my parenting. By prioritizing self-care, I can return to my child with renewed energy and focus.