I adore my children, truly, and I believe they are the most incredible beings to ever grace this earth. But here’s the thing: I don’t think they should receive trophies just for showing up at soccer practice on a Tuesday. It seems like every little achievement nowadays warrants a medal—like a ribbon for turning five or a certificate for participating in the school orchestra, where participation is a given. I once attended an awards ceremony where my son received a certificate simply for being nice to a friend… once. Is this really the standard we are setting? Our kids now expect accolades for basic kindness, and I can’t help but wonder how this impacts their sense of responsibility. No wonder my son rolls his eyes when I ask him to clean his room—after all, he’s a trophy-winner in kindness.
Unrealistic Expectations
Why are we creating such unrealistic expectations? Adult life doesn’t come with a trophy for every small task. Honestly, I would prefer a cash bonus over any award. A nice plaque is great, but how about a $100 bill instead? Or maybe a coupon to Target? I certainly don’t receive recognition every time I clean the bathroom or manage a grocery run with two kids in tow, although I believe I deserve some acknowledgment for that. All I get are the complaints over dinner, but where’s my trophy?
The Graduation Ceremony Dilemma
I might be in the minority, but I also don’t see the necessity for graduation ceremonies at every minor milestone. I can’t even recall graduating from preschool, kindergarten, fifth grade, or junior high—why do we put ourselves through this? Is it just an excuse to gather, eat cookies, and chat about how wonderful our kids are? I would much rather skip the lengthy ceremony, where I find myself silently urging my daughter to stop picking her nose in front of a crowd. Doesn’t she realize everyone can see her?
Expectations and Their Consequences
These days, everything is expected. My children anticipate stickers at every store visit, awards at every event, and constant praise for every appropriate interaction. But why? This is the precedent we’ve established. The stickers become a source of amusement as they end up stuck to my rear end, while the medals and trophies collect dust in the toy bin, losing their significance. At some point, the awards lose all meaning. After a brief moment of excitement over a shiny new object, they clutter my home without my kids even remembering why they received them.
Recognizing Genuine Effort
Of course, my kids have unique talents, and there are occasions when their hard work deserves recognition. Acknowledgment of genuine effort is valuable; however, the sheer volume of awards has diluted their worth. In our attempt to make everyone feel special, the importance of the awards is compromised.
Fostering Intrinsic Motivation
Let’s focus on raising kind individuals who understand that they shouldn’t expect recognition for simply fulfilling their responsibilities. This emphasis on extrinsic rewards detracts from the intrinsic motivation to do good. We shouldn’t do things for accolades; we should do them because they are enjoyable, fulfilling, or simply because it’s the right thing to do.
Let’s reserve awards for genuinely significant accomplishments—like the Nobel Prize, which at least comes with a million bucks!
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Summary
The author critiques the current trend of awarding children for minimal achievements, suggesting that it creates unrealistic expectations and diminishes the value of genuine accomplishments. Instead, she advocates for fostering intrinsic motivation and kindness without the need for constant external validation.