Parenting is a journey without a roadmap. When I attempt to explain the experience to those without children, I often liken it to being a scientist. Each child, at every new stage of life, is akin to formulating a hypothesis that you either validate or disprove. Every day, you don your lab coat (which is really just a pair of comfy yoga pants), fire up your Bunsen burners (a.k.a the microwave), and fill your beakers (think bottles of formula) while meticulously documenting your observations (post-it notes piled high on the fridge).
This summer, I made a grave error by dropping my three-year-old’s nap. It was a hypothesis that has been thoroughly debunked by my toddler’s behavior as the day drags on. I accept full responsibility for this miscalculation—he simply wasn’t ready for this change.
The challenge with children, unlike scientific data, is that they are sentient beings. You can only manipulate their routines so much—unlike data, which can be adjusted to fit various outcomes. Once you take away nap time, there’s no going back. I can’t reverse the decision now that my child has experienced the world without naps.
When summer rolled around, we decided to enroll both of our older children in the same day camp. Our 9-year-old thrived there, making it a logical choice for his little brother. However, there was a major catch: camp ends at 3:45 PM, which is a good 45 minutes past when my toddler would typically settle down for his afternoon nap.
“No worries,” I reassured myself. “He’ll manage just fine.”
Oh, how wrong I was. Naps are essential for three-year-olds, after all. Now, a month into camp, although he’s delighted by his new friends, he returns home cranky and overtired. Trying to coax him into a quiet moment at 4 PM has proven utterly fruitless. On rare occasions, he has dozed off during the car ride home—but those instances are few and far between. And when he does fall asleep in the car, he’s only stayed asleep once when I carried him inside.
In short, I’m in deep trouble.
The afternoon nap was a win-win situation: my toddler benefited from much-needed rest and awoke ready to unleash his energy, while I relished two peaceful hours of productivity. I’ll look back on those nap times fondly, reminiscing about the quietude before I foolishly assumed I could navigate life without them.
So, here I am, sharing my hard-earned wisdom with you. For the love of all that is good, please heed my warning: if you currently have a napping child, cling to that time with everything you’ve got. Take a note from Jack in Titanic and “never let go.” Forget the catchy tune from Frozen—do not “let it go.” I share this because I want to spare anyone from the evenings filled with tears, tantrums, and utter exhaustion that I’m currently enduring.
No sane individual should have to endure a three-year-old clinging to their leg, wailing, “MOMMY! MOOOOOMMY! I WANT MOOOOOMMY!” while you’re trying to prepare dinner and your partner is running late. I’m offering this advice as a public service: learn from my blunder. Long live the nap!
This article was originally published on April 16, 2013.
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In summary, naps are not just a luxury; they are essential for both children and parents alike. Don’t make the same mistake I did—cherish those quiet moments while they last!
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