“Is it just me, or is it odd when parents kiss their children on the lips?” This was a genuine question I posed to my partner during my first pregnancy. I believed it was straightforward: lips are for romantic partners, period. I had no idea there was an entirely different perspective on the matter. The thought of kissing my child on the lips was something I couldn’t fathom.
“I intend to kiss our kids on the lips,” he replied, viewing it as a completely normal expression of affection. I figured he must come from a particularly affectionate family, so I decided to consult some fellow moms for their opinions. As it turns out, I was the outlier. Many parents were completely comfortable with kissing their kids on the lips.
Perhaps my upbringing played a role in my feelings. My family wasn’t very touchy-feely; I still hug my parents goodnight when we’re together, and I occasionally crawl into my mom’s lap just to tease her, but overall, we aren’t overly affectionate. I can count the number of times my dad has kissed my cheek on one hand. I’ve always thought that was perfectly normal and never doubted his love.
While I didn’t find anything inherently wrong with kissing a child on the lips, it was simply foreign to me. Becoming a mother often forces you to confront beliefs you never questioned and choose a stance, because whether right or wrong, you’re going to act in a certain way that merits consideration.
Then my daughter arrived—healthy, happy, and full of cuddles. I adored holding her, hugging her, and showering her with kisses on her cheeks, forehead, nose, and tiny toes, but I still couldn’t bring myself to kiss her on the lips. It felt strange to me—until she initiated it.
One day, she was almost a year old, crawling and laughing, a joyful independent spirit. While I was on the floor organizing cloth diapers, she rolled over, climbed up my leg, and planted a big, drooly kiss right on my lips. It was the first time she had ever initiated such affection, and it left an indelible mark in my memory. I thought we were both satisfied with our arrangement until that moment. She wanted to express her love in her own way, and that included kissing her mama on the lips.
In that instant, my opinion shifted. It was one of those pivotal moments in motherhood where my child’s actions challenged my long-held beliefs. She shook up my worldview like a snow globe, and when the dust settled, I realized that kissing my kids on the lips was perfectly natural. I would never pressure my children into affection they weren’t comfortable with, but now, kissing has become an effortless expression of love in our family.
Today, that once drooly baby is now 5 years old, and her younger brother is 4. I kiss both of them on the lips frequently, and none of us think it’s odd. If you do find it strange, I understand; everyone sets their own boundaries for personal reasons. And if you find it completely normal, I get that too—now. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this post about the journey of becoming a parent.
In summary, my perception of kissing my children on the lips evolved dramatically after my daughter expressed her desire for that kind of affection. What once seemed peculiar became a natural way to show love within our family, and I’m grateful for the lessons motherhood has taught me.