I was on a call with my partner, Jess, pondering whether we should enroll our 10-year-old son, Ethan, in another soccer season.
“I’m really growing weary of the twice-a-week practices and losing our Saturdays,” Jess expressed.
I sighed in agreement, recalling the previous weekend when Ethan had two games in completely different towns. I spent the entire day preparing snacks for his team (it was our turn), driving him to pregame practice, the first game, then back to practice, and finally to the second game. By the end of it, I was left with a sweaty kid in muddy cleats, and we were both worn out.
While I was at work during our conversation, Jess was cooped up in our hot, cramped van with our 7-year-old daughter, Lucy, trying to help her with homework while Lucy was eager to get outside and play. Meanwhile, our toddler was busy causing chaos in the back seat while Ethan played soccer at the park.
One major issue is that neither Jess nor I have ever been into sports. I played half a season of soccer as a child and a bit of baseball, but it was never my choice. My parents made me participate, and I detested every minute of it. I was a short kid with poor coordination and little motivation for athletics.
Thinking back on my own sports experiences, I remember being teased for missing catches or kicks, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Youth sports remind me of standing in the outfield, hoping the ball wouldn’t come my way so I wouldn’t embarrass myself. I couldn’t wait for the games to end.
I’m not sure what Jess’s reasons were for staying away from sports, but I remember when we began dating, she asked if I liked sports, and when I bluntly said “No,” she beamed.
I thought sports wouldn’t play a significant role in our lives, and I held onto that belief until Ethan, around age 7, expressed interest in playing soccer. A few of his friends were already involved. Jess and I discussed it, thinking it would be a fleeting interest. “He’s our kid,” Jess said. “I doubt he’ll be too into sports.”
Clearly, we underestimated his passion because three years later, we found ourselves complaining about our reluctance to drive him to practices and games, questioning whether we should continue with it, considering our busy family life.
During our conversation, Jess frequently paused to assist Lucy with her homework, and I reflected on how naïve we were to assume Ethan would mirror our disinterest in sports. Many new parents assume their children will be a blend of both their traits, but in reality, every child has their own unique inclinations. Ethan shares my short stature and stocky build, along with Jess’s smile and hair. Yet he is his own individual, with interests that often diverge from mine.
However, when I take a moment to consider the benefits soccer has brought to him, I can’t help but acknowledge that despite my aversion to sports, they’ve been incredibly advantageous for my son. When he struggled with homework, Jess told him he might have to quit soccer to focus on his schoolwork, and he quickly improved. Each season, he forges new friendships, and I see his coordination improving, skills developing, and confidence soaring. What once was a small boy chasing a ball has transformed into a determined young athlete.
If it weren’t for soccer, I am certain he would default to his other interests—YouTube and video games. I’ve seen him boldly confront bigger boys, challenge them with a fearlessness I never had at his age, and seize the ball. I’ve watched him dive into a flurry of kicking feet while playing goalie without hesitation. His determination and confidence are evident, making me proud.
To be transparent, while I’ve only missed a handful of Ethan’s games in the past three years, I still don’t grasp all the soccer rules. I’m not fluent in the sport’s language, nor can I name any professional players. But I can clearly see that soccer is enriching my son’s life, and despite my lack of enthusiasm for the sport or the effort it takes to get him there, Jess and I decided to enroll him for another season.
Why, you ask?
Well, it’s quite simple: that’s what parents do. They set aside their personal preferences and dislikes when they recognize that their child is thriving.
Being a parent means standing on the sidelines, cheering for your child even if you don’t fully understand the game. It means sacrificing weekends for months or even years, knowing that while you might prefer to be doing something else, your child is genuinely enjoying themselves. So, though it can be exhausting, we push through because we know it’s for the betterment of our child.
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Summary: Despite my dislike for sports, I’ve come to appreciate how beneficial soccer has been for my son, Ethan. It has helped him build confidence, make friends, and develop skills that I never had. While it requires significant time and effort on my part, I realize that my personal feelings need to be set aside for Ethan’s growth and happiness as a young athlete.