Body image issues are not exclusive to women.
I have no recollections of my childhood as a girl. None whatsoever. My earliest memories involve my grandfather playfully calling me “Pudding,” while my father would squeeze my soft toddler thighs and refer to them as “hams.” Looking back at old family photos, I can’t help but wonder what kind of diet I was on because, truth be told, I was quite the chubby little one.
As I grew up, I often heard, “It’s just baby fat; you’ll outgrow it.” The reality, however, was that I never did. While my friends blossomed and slimmed down, I remained the same. At 10 years old, my mother announced we were going on diets because my best friend had lost weight. This was the beginning of a lifelong habit of comparing myself to others, learning that being bigger than other girls was undesirable.
Throughout my journey from middle school to college, I realized that this was how women connected with each other. Even those whose bodies I admired were not exempt from this discourse. Conversations revolved around food choices, where we categorized ourselves as “good” or “bad” based on our meals. We constantly compared notes on who consumed the least.
As an adult, my social media feed is filled with women promoting “skinny” recipes and selling products aimed at reducing waistlines. We join diet plans and subscribe to workout regimes, where the pressure to maintain or attain a “good body” is ever-present. This is our reality — it’s maddening.
That’s why I felt a sense of relief when my first child was a son. I doubted my ability to raise a daughter with a healthy self-image. I had a wonderful son, resembling his father with curly hair and charming dimples. He inherited my blue eyes and solid build, but I thought nothing of it. “He’ll be a football player,” people would say. “He’s so strong!”
When my son reached the age of 6, he began to express an interest in jogging. During our visits to the park, he wanted to run. At first, I thought it was a phase, but soon he was jogging daily, asking about calories in his meals, and weighing himself every morning. His mood would swing based on the scale’s number — at just 6 years old. Upon looking into this, I discovered that during P.E. class, he had been weighed, and another child had called him fat.
I was completely unprepared for this situation. The idea that boys could struggle with body image had never crossed my mind. None of the men in my life had appeared self-conscious about their bodies; I remember my father joking about his own belly while poking fun at my mother’s cellulite.
But here I was, watching my beautiful son pinch his belly and obsess over calories and weight. It broke my heart to see him in pain, as I recognized my own struggles mirrored in him.
Our children reflect both our positive and negative traits. I realized that my unresolved issues could resurface for both of us unless I took action. I knew I needed to become the parent I wished I had when I was young.
I began by eliminating the scale from our home. We wouldn’t weigh ourselves daily; weight is merely one metric and doesn’t define health. As the one responsible for grocery shopping, I ensure our meals are filled with healthy vegetables and lean meats while trying to minimize sugar intake, which is challenging given the overwhelming amount of sugar-laden products marketed to children. We snack on wholesome items like nuts and cheese and stay active through biking, skating, and outdoor play.
My son participates in sports, and our discussions have shifted from weight loss to fitness and health. I now ask him how he feels, whether he has energy, and if he feels strong. These are the signs of health, not the number on a scale.
It’s not a flawless approach, but it’s a beginning. There are days when I must restrain myself from discussing diets and food choices around my kids, especially when I’m with other women, but all we can do is strive to improve, day by day.
I can’t control what others say to my son or the images he encounters, but I know that my words and teachings will shape his inner voice and values. Recognizing this is a significant step in the right direction.
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In summary, body image issues are not limited to girls, and it’s essential to address these concerns early on. By fostering a positive environment focused on health rather than weight, we can help shape our children’s self-image and overall well-being.