“Don’t worry, you’ll be okay,” they say, giving you a light pat on the shoulder. “This will all be over soon.”
You nod quietly, avoiding their gaze because you’re polite, and that’s what polite people do. But deep down, you know that you’re not okay. You might be grappling with thoughts of self-harm or even feeling like your loved ones would be better off without you. Each day feels like a monumental challenge just to get out of bed, let alone engage in daily activities like going to work, spending time with friends, or managing household chores. Statements like “you’ll be okay” and “this too shall pass” trivialize your pain. They overlook the reality that mental illness is as genuine as any physical ailment, and dismissing it is akin to telling a child with a broken leg to just “walk it off.”
For those not suffering, it’s easy to dismiss your feelings as overreactions. Spouses, friends, and colleagues might downplay your struggles, believing that if they don’t perceive the severity, it must not be that serious. They often fail to understand that the world doesn’t feel like it’s crumbling for them, while you may constantly be bracing for the worst. To them, society mostly functions well, but to you, it can feel like a heavy burden.
What you hear instead of “it’s not that bad” is a message that invalidates your emotions. You may feel like your suffering is somehow your fault, as if you could just think harder and realize that everything isn’t as terrible as it feels. But mental illness is a complex disease, just like diabetes or heart disease. No one would suggest thinking your way out of a medical condition, so why should mental health be treated any differently?
Some individuals might even argue against the use of medication, claiming it alters your personality or is part of a profit-driven industry. Yet, for many, prescribed medication is a crucial lifeline. It’s hard to seek help when the very first step—getting out of bed—feels insurmountable.
Another common phrase is, “Everyone has bad days.” This suggests that your feelings are merely a temporary inconvenience, something that anyone can brush off. But for those dealing with severe mental health issues, these feelings can last for extended periods and can lead to thoughts of self-harm or severe anxiety about social interactions.
The phrase “just think positively” might be the most damaging of all. It implies that the solution lies solely in your mindset. For someone dealing with depression, positive thinking can be as unrealistic as expecting a person with appendicitis to simply will themselves to feel better. While cognitive behavioral therapy might help some individuals, it often needs to be paired with medication for effective treatment.
In essence, these well-meaning phrases can inadvertently add to the suffering of those dealing with mental illness. They imply that the pain is insignificant or that the person is at fault for not overcoming their struggles. Until society recognizes mental illness as legitimate, deserving the same empathy and treatment as physical ailments, this pattern of dismissal will persist—even from those who care.
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In summary, it’s crucial to recognize that mental illness is a serious and complex issue that requires understanding and compassion, not dismissal. Supportive language can make a significant difference for those struggling.