On Easter evening, I unexpectedly found my 13-year-old son, Ethan, smoking pot under our backyard deck. I had gone to bed after asking him to come up and say goodnight, thinking he was in the kitchen grabbing a snack. But when I heard coughing outside my bedroom window, I peeked out while brushing my teeth and saw his bare legs and a lighter. The realization hit me hard.
Ethan has always been the cautious type, someone who prefers to stay in control. A few years back, he fell hard trying to jump on a ski trail. He got back up but hasn’t attempted a jump since, expressing his fear of injuries: “I don’t need to do all that fancy stuff. It’s not worth it to me.” Given his responsible nature, good grades, and lack of spending money, I never imagined I would have to confront this issue so soon. I was mistaken.
As a parent, I’ve done everything recommended when discussing drugs with children. I’ve had conversations about the risks of drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes since he was very young. I tell him I love him often and strive to engage him in discussions about his feelings, friends, and school. Our home is a place of open communication, and my kids know they can come to me.
While I personally don’t smoke, I hold a liberal view on marijuana use. I believe in individuals’ rights to smoke, and I even voted for its legalization in our state. However, seeing my young teen high changed my perspective. Watching him lecture me with bloodshot eyes about how “It’s just a plant, Mom,” and “It’s not a big deal—it’s like medicine,” made me realize that the freedom to use marijuana comes with great responsibility.
We need to be cautious in our discussions about marijuana. It’s crucial to remind teens that they are too young to be experimenting, regardless of its legal status. While I understand that kids will experiment, I also recognize that my son isn’t a delinquent, and his actions don’t define his future. Still, it’s essential to assert that smoking at his age is neither normal nor healthy.
Ethan confided that this was not his first time smoking. As he looked at me with half-closed eyes, I fought to keep my composure. He expressed that he enjoyed the way it made him feel but also worried he might be ruining his life. He even showed me where he hid his stash: a pipe, a lighter, and a prescription bottle full of marijuana he got from a classmate. It was as if he was torn between wanting to explore this new experience and hoping for a way out. Teenagers often struggle to process their feelings, and in that moment, I saw my son’s uncertainty.
I hugged him tightly, thanking him for his honesty and willingness to engage in this difficult conversation. I reiterated that we would navigate this together. Afterward, I gathered his clothes and waited for him in his room. When he returned, I expressed my appreciation for his honesty but made it clear that his behavior was inappropriate for a 13-year-old. I laid out a month-long punishment, including no friends, phone, or social media, and he would be spending his spring vacation helping his father.
I understand he might be upset with me, but I also know he loves me for stepping in. I see a young teen experimenting with a substance he doesn’t fully understand. Perhaps he would have tried it regardless of society’s casual attitude toward marijuana. Nevertheless, it’s still a drug with potential harmful effects on developing minds. I recognize that the narrative surrounding marijuana can easily mislead kids into thinking it’s a safe choice.
While I haven’t changed my stance on legalization, I believe we need to be far more careful in how we approach this topic with our children. The casual attitudes many of us hold about marijuana use need to be addressed. It’s vital to communicate openly and honestly with our kids about the risks and responsibilities associated with marijuana use.
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In summary, addressing marijuana use with our children requires open dialogue and a clear understanding of the responsibilities that come with it. It’s essential to guide them through their decisions and ensure they grasp the implications of their choices.