Hey there, Moms! How’s everything going? Would you like a drink?
I’m not a mom myself—yet, anyway. Who knows what the future holds? I’d love to provide a clearer answer, but my crystal ball met an unfortunate end last week. There seems to be a lot of chatter around the “moms vs. non-moms” debate, and I’m not here to stir the pot. I’m not one for conflict, really. I just want to share a few personal thoughts that I think you might find interesting.
1. I Don’t Dislike Your Kids
Seriously, I promise I don’t. Sure, there was that one child at Target who was running wild and tossing items my way while her mom laughed at her antics, but generally, I find kids to be pretty entertaining. They have a knack for saying the most hilarious and unexpected things, and I really enjoy that.
2. I Enjoy Spending Time with Your Kids
Now, I’m not saying I want to be surrounded by them 24/7, but I do think they’re pretty amusing little beings. Who doesn’t find it funny when a toddler lifts her skirt to proudly display her big-girl panties? That’s classic! I also enjoy letting them indulge in junk food, run around, and explore whatever they can find. While I wouldn’t act like that in your home, my place is a different story—my rules are all about fun. I’m more than happy to send a sugar-fueled child back to you afterward. Aunt Lucy (that’s what my niece calls me) is all about the fun. And yes, I’m ready for some payback someday!
3. My Dog Is Not Your Child
Yes, I have a dog, and yes, I absolutely adore and spoil him. However, please don’t assume I equate my dog with your child. I’m fully aware that my dog is a pet, while your kid is a human being that you’re nurturing to become a responsible adult. It’s like comparing apples and oranges—let’s keep them separate.
4. I Want to Be Your Friend
I’ve heard many moms say that their pre-baby friends vanished after they had kids. If that’s true, it’s time to reconsider those friendships. Most of my friends who are moms I met after their little ones arrived. Let me share a little secret: a person’s parental status doesn’t determine my willingness to be friends. If you’re an awesome person, I’m all in! And if I inadvertently schedule a lunch during Junior’s nap time, don’t just dismiss me. Let me know what works best for you. Would you prefer I send you a tweet instead of a text to avoid waking the baby? I’m flexible, and I genuinely like you.
5. Your Baby Scares Me
I have to admit, your baby intimidates me! It’s not until they can sit up on their own that I feel comfortable. Before that, please don’t hand your baby to me. It’s not that I dislike babies—I just worry about their fragility. Supporting their delicate heads and not holding too tightly is a lot of pressure! Let me admire your little one from a distance, please.
I could elaborate further, but I prefer the number five, so let’s wrap it up here. By the way, if you’re curious about parenthood, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination. And for those looking into at-home options, Make A Mom has reputable products for insemination kits. Also, if you’re looking for support and resources, Mount Sinai offers excellent information on infertility and pregnancy.
So, how about that drink? You look like you could use a coffee, and I’ve got you covered!
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