Murphy’s Laws of Traveling with Kids

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Traveling with children often feels like a lesson in expectation management. In my experience as a parent, the moments I anticipated to be extraordinary—like childbirth, holidays, and birthday celebrations—often turned out to be major disappointments. Conversely, the little things, like family bike rides, ice cream on a Wednesday evening, or breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day, can become unforgettable treasures.

If you want to spare yourself from heartache, it’s best to set your expectations low—really low. Because, as the saying goes, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And just when you think it couldn’t possibly get any worse, it somehow does. I had a vivid reminder of this during our recent family getaway when my younger child battled the stomach flu for four days, complete with explosive diarrhea, projectile vomiting, and a trip to the ER. It’s a classic case of Murphy’s Law when it comes to parenting: if something can go awry, anticipate it—better yet, plan for it—and you’ll save yourself a heap of disappointment.

Here are some travel truths every parent should know:

1. Your child will inevitably fall ill on the day of departure—often with conditions that involve nausea or necessitate antibiotics, or sometimes both.
2. Expect flight delays, lost luggage, and the rental car agency to have just rented out their last minivan.
3. Your “family-friendly” resort will be swarming with hyperactive kids and exhausted parents, leaving no one feeling particularly welcoming.
4. If you opt for a warm destination, the weather will likely turn unexpectedly chilly. Meanwhile, back home, there will be a sweltering heat wave.
5. You will forget to pack your child’s cherished blanket, lovie, or another irreplaceable comfort item.
6. Just as one child recovers from their illness, another will catch it. This cycle will repeat until you finally return home—where you will inevitably fall ill as well.
7. The kids’ meals at the hotel restaurant will somehow cost more than a romantic dinner back home. And don’t be surprised when a couple of margaritas costs more than your monthly mortgage.
8. You’ll find yourself making multiple trips to Walmart or Target for all the items you forgot to bring.
9. Your kids will wake up at the crack of dawn—every. single. day.
10. Once you return home, you’ll have to drag your kids out of bed for school. Pile on the mountains of laundry, a credit card bill that rivals the GDP of a small country, unanswered emails, a full voicemail, and the illness your kids had, and you’ll understand why they say it’s traveling with kids—not a vacation.

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In summary, traveling with kids can often feel like Murphy’s Law in action. By keeping your expectations in check and preparing for the unexpected, you might find a way to enjoy those chaotic moments that come with family adventures.