Parenting
A Fresh Perspective: Let’s Rethink How We Ask Kids to Clean Up
Imagine this scenario: You’ve dedicated a solid hour to a project that truly matters to you—whether it’s writing, crafting, or organizing your thoughts for a presentation. Just as you’re reaching a satisfying conclusion or feeling completely absorbed in your flow, someone abruptly interrupts. They close your laptop, grab your pen, or take your crafting materials away, insisting it’s time to move on. Frustrating, right? Disrespectful, perhaps? You’d likely feel reluctant to comply.
Your child experiences a similar situation when asked to clean up their play. Educational pioneers like Maria Montessori and Jean Piaget, along with beloved figures like Mr. Rogers, recognized that “play is the work of childhood.” For children, play is not just leisure; it’s their form of labor. The things they create, whether it’s a model, a drawing, or an imaginative scenario, hold great significance to them. These creations symbolize their evolving skills—maybe it’s the first time they successfully arranged the train tracks or constructed a unique structure with blocks.
When we swoop in with the universally known “Clean Up Song” and declare that playtime is over, we’re effectively asking our children to abandon their creative efforts at a crucial moment. This sudden interruption can be especially challenging for toddlers, who often crave a sense of control.
While it’s true that playtime must eventually conclude, it’s also essential to recognize that children don’t always need to clean up immediately. Occasionally, we can allow them to keep their toys and projects out. Yes, it might contribute to a cluttered playroom, and navigating around their creations may feel cumbersome. However, by allowing them to preserve their work, we convey a powerful message of respect and appreciation for their effort.
If you notice your child hesitating to put away their toys or projects, acknowledge the value of their work by saying things like:
- “You don’t have to clean up! Let’s keep your work out!”
- “Let’s put your name on your project so that it’s safe!”
- “We need to move this, but you can choose a safe spot to keep it.”
- “You can leave this out; we just need to take a break for a bit.”
- “If you’d like to keep this out, let’s figure out a way to store it safely.”
- “Let’s take a picture of your special creation before we put it away.”
- “We can put some things away, but you can decide what stays out.”
- “Wow! This is an incredible creation! Let’s find a place to display it.”
- “It’s time to wrap up play for now, but would you like to take part of your project with you?”
- “I’ll keep an eye on your toys while you’re away; they’ll be safe.”
Being open to negotiating cleanup sends many positive messages, teaching children essential skills like flexibility, compromise, and respect for the time they invest in their creations. It also shows them that we don’t have to have control over everything all the time. Sometimes, we can let go of our need to enforce order, which can be a tough but rewarding exercise for parents.
Moreover, allowing kids to keep their creations out helps ease transitions when playtime ends. By fostering a strong positive connection, children are more likely to move on easily from their projects, making it easier for everyone involved.
So, consider this approach: instead of insisting that your child clean up constantly, show them that you respect their work. Most of the time, it’s important to tidy up, but occasionally, we can let the mess linger and let their imaginative masterpieces shine. If you’d like to explore more about parenting and home insemination, check out our blog here. Additionally, for those interested in fertility solutions, visit Make a Mom. For further information on pregnancy, refer to this excellent resource at NICHD.
Summary:
Rethinking the way we ask our children to clean up can foster respect for their creative processes. Allowing children to leave their projects out sometimes not only validates their efforts but also helps them transition more smoothly from playtime. Parents can encourage flexibility and appreciation for their child’s work through thoughtful communication, creating a positive parenting experience that respects a child’s creativity.