We’ve all been there: you’re scrolling through Facebook, and bam! Another friend has jumped on the bandwagon of coaching others to “get fit and lose weight!” You roll your eyes because, sure enough, there’s an unsolicited message waiting for you inviting you to join their “fantastic team!” Sound familiar?
If not, consider yourself fortunate. I seem to attract these invitations because I recently had twins! Clearly, I must be eager to shed that baby weight!
The messaging often goes something like this: “Congratulations on the twins! I’d love to help you lose that baby weight!”
First off, thanks, I guess? But seriously, stop! I don’t appreciate being told I need to lose weight by someone I barely know. And even if we were closer, the constant reminders about my weight create self-doubt.
That insecurity doesn’t just affect me; it trickles down to my perceptive toddler. One of my biggest fears as a parent is that my own insecurities will hinder my daughters from developing a healthy relationship with their bodies and self-image.
Every time you offer your “help” to get fit, it makes me scrutinize the cupcake I just shared with my daughter. And guess what? She notices. It causes me to skip out on the cookies we baked together, and she sees that too. It leads me to prioritize workouts over sleep, prompting her to ask why I’m too tired to play with her.
“Oh, just buy the Shakeology!” you suggest. “It’ll give you energy!” you say. “It’s just the cost of a daily coffee! Surely you can manage that!” Well to that I say, “I haven’t had a Starbucks since before the twins were born.” It’s either your shakes or my daughters’ formula, and that’s not a choice I’m willing to make.
I realize that promoting a healthy lifestyle is crucial, and I genuinely want that for my daughters. However, I take issue with the idea that “strong is the new skinny” or that I must show my daughters that women should be strong. Why? Because that often translates to having flat abs and visible muscles.
What I’m inadvertently teaching my daughters with those messages is that their value lies in how they look or what they eat. Not happening. I’d rather instill in them the importance of enjoying their broccoli before dessert or moving their bodies for fun rather than obligation.
It’s essential for them to understand that having lazy days is perfectly fine and that all foods can fit into a balanced lifestyle—there’s no such thing as a “cheat” day. I want them to trust their bodies and ignore the noise in their heads that might tell them someone else is thinner or more fit, even if they feel content.
I want my daughters to realize that their worth isn’t tied to their appearance or the number of cookies they eat. The best way to convey that lesson is by believing it myself.
So please, stop targeting me. Allow me to embrace this season of motherhood—love handles and all—without the pressure of joining your “team.” I’m focused on raising strong and balanced women, and I don’t have time for anything else.
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Summary
The article discusses the unsolicited pressure postpartum women face from Beachbody coaches to lose weight, emphasizing the negative impact of such messages on self-esteem and parenting. It advocates for a healthy balance in teaching daughters about body image and self-worth, rather than focusing solely on appearance.