Mr. Whiskers, a feline with a notorious reputation, is searching for a new home—if you’re brave enough to take him on.
Sometimes, even the most compassionate rescue organizations reach their limit. That seems to be the case with the Cat Coalition of Melbourne, who took to their adoption page to describe Mr. Whiskers, also known as Sir Whiskers McFluff. Their candid listing doesn’t hold back.
The Cat Coalition, dedicated to “Welfare • Advocacy • Support for rescued cats and their human caretakers” in Australia, may have exhausted their patience with Mr. Whiskers. His adoption profile is nothing short of a hilarious roast: he’s described as a “total rascal… a tyrant and a ruler.” Just your typical cat behavior, right?
According to reports, the witty description was penned by Lucy Lane, founder of the Cat Coalition—kudos to her for being upfront! Potential adopters deserve to know what they’re signing up for. Cats have a knack for charming potential rescuers, and Mr. Whiskers is no exception. Once you bring him home, you might find yourself in for quite the surprise.
Lucy laid it all out: “Mr. Whiskers is not one to be ignored. He throws a dramatic tantrum if he can’t go outside when he desires (and he had a few of those when he wasn’t allowed outside for the first couple of weeks). Not being fed on time can also lead to an epic meltdown.”
Oh, and don’t be surprised if he nips you if he feels slighted. “If he’s not happy with your actions, he will give you a little bite!” Or if you don’t pet him to his satisfaction, “Mr. Whiskers prefers snuggles on his own terms and will hop onto your lap when he feels it’s appropriate. If the affection doesn’t meet his standards, watch out for those nips.”
He also enjoys swatting at your feet whenever he feels like it. “It really just depends on what’s in his reach at the moment.”
This feline is no pushover! Honestly, as I read through the description, I had to double-check that I wasn’t reading about a toddler. He too “likes his cuddles on his terms.”
Despite the quirky antics of “Sir Whiskers McFluff” being a tempting name for my son (who has already shot down the idea), I must say he’s undeniably a handsome cat.
He does have a few redeeming qualities. For instance, he “allows kisses on his shiny black head if he’s in a good mood… enjoys being part of whatever you’re doing (which likely means he’ll occupy your keyboard while you’re working), and he’s in great health” (Is it strange that after reading this listing, I’m considering adopting Lucy Lane?).
At the time of writing, Mr. Whiskers is reportedly “on hold,” which hopefully means someone is ready to embrace this spirited kitty and provide him with the home he demands.
It’s crucial that any potential adopters take the latter part of the listing seriously: “Mr. Whiskers is not for the faint-hearted or inexperienced. He is a fully spirited tomcat with very clear boundaries.”
Again, it sounds like my toddler, but at least he lacks claws. Unfortunately, he seems to delight in biting just as much as Sir Whiskers does.
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In summary, Mr. Whiskers is a spirited cat looking for a home that can handle his strong personality. His playful antics and clear boundaries might be overwhelming for some, but he also has a soft side that shines through. Will someone brave enough step up to welcome him into their home?