Wedding planning often feels like an exercise in making choices that, while not life-threatening, seem to carry the weight of the universe. When my partner and I tied the knot, we ended up with eight different cakes because I simply couldn’t choose just one. While I encouraged my bridesmaids to select their own dresses—as a nod to my easygoing (and slightly sarcastic) nature—I still had to veto some truly questionable choices made by my sister. But aside from the big decisions, like choosing “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey to close out the night, one choice was a clear winner: we decided to invite children.
Kids at weddings bring an undeniable charm. As a bride who admittedly craved attention, I was keen to manage any potential competition, particularly from distant relatives who might show up in white. But when it came to children, I embraced their ability to steal the spotlight. Surrounded by adorable little cousins and nieces, I cherished moments like watching our flower girl dance on the groom’s shoes—one of my favorite memories to date.
I understand that kids aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. Weddings can be pricey, and sometimes excluding children is a budgetary necessity. Additionally, some guests may have that one relative who tends to overindulge and create a scene, prompting couples to keep their guest lists adult-only. Kids aren’t a perfect fit for every occasion, and I get that.
However, when it works out, it can be an absolute blast. Now that my partner and I have children of our own, we face the decision of whether to bring them along to weddings when they are invited. We’ve learned that outings can go either splendidly or spectacularly wrong, especially with our lively 4-year-old son and our energetic 2-year-old daughter. Long ceremonies, loud music, and the challenge of staying up past bedtime often lead to the inevitable question: “What were we thinking?”
Our son has special needs, and loud noises can be overwhelming for him. Recently, I spent weeks fretting over whether to leave him and his sister with my in-laws while we attended a wedding a few hours away. Ultimately, we chose to bring them along, preparing as much as we could. I loaded both of our old iPods with shows and games, packed a stroller for potential meltdowns, and filled it with snacks, crayons, and small toys. I even remembered hearing-protective earmuffs for my son.
My partner and I agreed that if things went south, we would head back to the hotel and chalk it up to experience. Amazingly, we made it through an entire Catholic mass with two children who had never set foot in a church. I silently thanked our stash of activity books and crayons for keeping them entertained.
Once we arrived at the reception, I was uncertain about what to expect. Our kids had fallen asleep in the car, and when we moved our son to the stroller, he remained fast asleep. However, when he finally woke up, he was irritable and crying. As I worked to calm him, I started planning our exit strategy. The loud music was clearly bothering him, and he was too upset to wear his earmuffs.
I thought maybe we should have stayed home. I figured we’d let the kids eat dinner first, so I retreated to a quieter area and sat them down with macaroni and cheese from the buffet. Just as I was about to pack up our things, trays of cookies were brought out. I decided to make one last attempt at salvaging the evening.
“See all those cookies? If you let me put your earmuffs on, you can have as many as you want,” I promised. Our son, a huge fan of baked goods, chose three cookies. We sat down, and he happily devoured them before allowing me to put on his earmuffs.
I cannot express how grateful I am that we waited for our kids to eat before leaving. That cookie feast transformed the night. We entered the main reception area together and headed straight for the dance floor, where a few other kids were already tearing it up. My son jumped in, showcasing his dance moves, and my daughter followed suit. Watching their joy and hearing their laughter made all my earlier frustration fade away, and I joined in with my best mom dance moves.
We spent the rest of the evening dancing, laughing, and capturing memories on video. A flower girl even pulled my son for a slow dance while my partner and I shared a moment of celebration. It was pure magic.
Had we chosen to leave our kids with my in-laws, we would have enjoyed a carefree evening. We could’ve danced, celebrated, and possibly even had a few drinks without a care in the world. But we would have missed one of the most cherished moments of our parenting journey—and I wouldn’t have savored those cookies nearly as much.
Weddings are joyous occasions, whether attended with children or without. They celebrate love and bring together the people who matter most in our lives. I’m just grateful that this one included everyone I hold dear, especially the tiny, adorable ones.
For more insights on navigating parenthood and family events, check out our other blog posts about home insemination. If you’re looking for resources on fertility, the information available at Johns Hopkins Fertility Center is excellent. And for those considering self-insemination options, Make A Mom has authoritative resources on home insemination kits.
Summary
In this article, the author reflects on the joys and challenges of including children in weddings. Celebrating the delightful moments that children bring, the author shares a personal experience of attending a wedding with their young ones, highlighting the unpredictability of parenting but also the special memories created. Ultimately, the piece underscores the importance of family connections during joyous occasions.