Recently, I came across a blog post about a family committed to paying off their mortgage ahead of schedule. They made the decision to skip a vacation to a popular theme park, with the mother expressing that while it was a significant sacrifice, “it pains me to think my 3-year-old is missing out on that adventure.”
Let’s take a moment to unpack that. Firstly, a 3-year-old won’t remember a theme park trip a year later. Secondly, that same child would likely be just as thrilled playing with bubbles in the yard or enjoying a popsicle. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with visiting a theme park, it raises a red flag for me about our collective cultural issue with FOMO—fear of missing out—especially when it comes to our children.
Reassessing Our Parenting Priorities
When did childhood morph into a checklist of “must-have experiences?” Parenting has become akin to an intensive enrichment course where our success is measured by the number of extravagant activities we’ve curated for our kids.
We’ve arrived at this point out of love, but it’s time to reassess. The aim of parenting isn’t to produce a young adult with a fully checked-off bucket list. We’re stressing ourselves out trying to ensure our children experience every fun activity, visit every exciting location, and have every possible joy before they can even manage their own finances.
It’s unnecessary to cram an entire lifetime of experiences into 18 years. Our primary role is to make our children feel secure and loved—that’s what truly matters.
Luxury vs. Pressure
If you enjoy luxury vacations and can afford them, go for it! Just don’t feel pressured to think your child is missing out. There is no official checklist of experiences that defines a healthy childhood. Remember, you’re raising children, not crafting a resume.
Parenting isn’t about orchestrating a series of once-in-a-lifetime events; it’s about nurturing well-rounded, secure individuals. Many of the experiences that shape a child’s character aren’t found on lists like “101 Amazing Things Your Kids Must Do Before They Grow Up.”
Ordinary Moments Matter
Perhaps the moments that truly influence your children will be more ordinary, cost-effective, and closer to home. When they write their “What I Did Over Summer Vacation” essays, they might not sound as thrilling as their classmates’ tales, and that’s perfectly alright.
Due to finances, distance, family dynamics, or countless other factors, your kids will inevitably “miss out” on many experiences we might wish for them. Yet, this isn’t as significant as we often believe. If your children grow up feeling loved, you’re already providing them with the most invaluable experience of all.
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, we need to let go of the fear that our children are missing out on experiences. Instead, focus on providing a nurturing and loving environment.