Recently, I shared a snapshot of my children relishing ice cream sandwiches after dinner with the caption: “Not long ago, I would spend nearly an hour in the grocery store’s ice cream aisle. I would open every freezer door, examining each carton while my mind raced, scrutinizing every nutrition label. Too many calories here, too much sugar there. Eventually, I would leave with the lowest fat/calorie option I could find, all while battling a panic attack. My eating disorder made even the simplest of grocery trips a source of anxiety.
Once the ice cream made its way to my freezer, it loomed over me like a shadow. I felt the urge to toss it, but I also wanted to devour it all and purge it. Ultimately, I longed for the freedom to enjoy ice cream without the mental struggle. Fast forward seven years, and now I push my cart through the aisles effortlessly, adding avocados, black beans, chips, and milk to my haul. As I walked by the freezer section, ice cream sandwiches caught my eye, and without hesitation, I tossed them in my cart. I hurried to checkout, eager to get home before it was time to pick up the kids.
Many parents I speak to choose to limit sweets or avoid them altogether. However, it’s crucial to provide our children with a diverse range of foods and to reject the idea of labeling food as good or bad. Food is simply food, devoid of moral value. All foods can fit into our diets! When we restrict certain foods, we risk creating a hierarchy that may shame our children into avoiding those foods later. It’s essential for them to witness us enjoying a variety of foods. That evening, my children and I savored those delightful ice cream sandwiches. I never take my recovery or the chance to share these moments with my kids for granted. My gratitude for my recovery and the freedom it brings—both in the grocery aisle and beyond—is immense!
The post garnered widespread attention on social media, filled with enthusiastic responses and stories from other women in recovery. However, it was only a matter of time before someone challenged my “All Foods Fit” philosophy. “I disagree in one aspect. Junk food is junk. Chemical-filled and unhealthy. A Twinkie every now and then is fine, but children should learn about healthy eating.”
“I think moderation is key,” another parent commented. “As long as my daughter has balanced meals covering most food groups, I’m okay with sharing ice cream with her. She’s such a fruit and veggie lover that she often prefers fresh strawberries over processed sweets. I want her to explore new foods when offered, and to get some protein in her diet, even though getting her to eat chicken or pork can be challenging.”
I started to respond but soon realized my answer required more than just a quick comment.
So here it goes: Thank you all for your thoughts. I appreciate your views on moderation and the idea of labeling certain foods as “junk,” which is a common narrative perpetuated by society and many so-called “experts.”
“Don’t eat junk! Childhood obesity is soaring! Limit processed sugars. Moderation is KEY!” I hear this often. And you know what? I wholeheartedly agree—moderation is essential. Is it healthy to subsist on ice cream and pizza every day? Absolutely not. But can one consume kale and apples all day without consequences? Nope, not healthy either. So yes, moderation is key.
I feel uneasy whenever I hear people refer to foods as “chemical-filled.” This concern has less to do with my battle with an eating disorder and more with my daughter’s experience with cancer. Two years ago, while my daughter was in the hospital fighting neuroblastoma, I shared a photo of her with cupcakes from my thoughtful friends. To my shock, I received an anonymous email warning me to keep all sugar away from my daughter.
First off, she was only eight months old and hadn’t even started solid foods yet. Secondly, sugar does not cause cancer. I recognize this might spark controversy, but when my daughter was diagnosed at seven months, she had only ever consumed breast milk. Sometimes, cancer just happens. Sure, smoking is linked to cancer, but there’s little evidence connecting sugar or processed foods to it.
I’ve asked countless doctors and nurses what caused Marjorie’s cancer and what I can do to prevent my son from developing it. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do. Cancer can affect anyone, regardless of their diet.
An oncology nurse once told me about two kids in the same ward, both battling the same cancer. One child came from a health-conscious vegetarian family that ate organic, while the other was from a lower socioeconomic background and had a diet heavy in fast food. Yet both faced the exact same diagnosis. You cannot shield your children from cancer.
Once again, is it beneficial to eat processed foods and sugar all day? No. Moderation is essential—kale and cupcakes, or kale and what you might call “chemicals.” To be honest, I do choose organic meats and dairy for my family, but you’ll also find non-organic bananas and cookies in my pantry.
Ultimately, we shouldn’t deny ourselves or our children the foods they crave. You cannot convince me that after a hot summer day, an ice cream sandwich doesn’t sound appealing! Have you ever met anyone who craves frozen kale after a sunny day at the beach?
Food is just food. Yes, some items offer more nutrients than others, but it’s critical not to rank them. When we impose restrictions on certain foods, that’s often what we end up craving most. Our bodies will signal what we need—sometimes it’s leafy greens, and other times, it’s a burger when iron levels are low.
My children are young, but they grasp that food is food. My son sometimes opts for bananas over cake, and other times, the reverse. The reality is that we are born with a phenomenal hunger/fullness system, which can get distorted by diets or food restrictions. We often unknowingly pass our guilt onto our children. In our desire for them to be healthy and happy, we limit sweets or fast food. I cannot tell you how many young people I’ve met who feel the need to sneak into McDonald’s because they feel ashamed of it. What if we drove through McDonald’s with them? Seriously.
During a recent parent presentation with nutrition expert Sarah Dutton, a mother challenged the “All Foods Fit” concept, asserting that if she let her daughter eat freely, she would hit McDonald’s daily.
“Let her,” I responded.
“She would harm herself with that,” the mother said.
“No, she won’t. I promise,” I replied. “She will tire of it; it will lose its allure. She won’t eat it forever, and it won’t harm her.”
Sarah then shared a chilling story: “I once treated a patient with binge-eating disorder whose father was a cardiologist. She grew up in a household that labeled food as bad, especially fast food. My goal was to normalize food for her, eliminating the shame. As a therapeutic exercise, we drove to McDonald’s. Fast food was her guilty pleasure, something she consumed in secret. We ordered, parked, and mindfully enjoyed our meal together. The more we deny, the more we desire.”
I have shared that story many times, and I would love to meet the courageous patient who embraced recovery, potentially transforming her family’s approach to food.
I understand that the idea of keeping a variety of foods at home or even visiting McDonald’s might seem outrageous, but give it a try. You may surprise yourself, just as I did. I never thought I could keep ice cream in my home. Now, my pantry holds ice cream, candy, cookies, bananas, kale, chips, cheese, and apples. And guess what? I rarely think about what’s in my pantry, except when I make my grocery list.
My motivation to recover was not just to be a mom but to be a mom who sets an example. I wanted to be a mother who could enjoy ice cream, kale, and everything in between. And I am proud to say that I AM that mom today. Yes, I’m sure I’m failing at motherhood in countless other ways, but I make a conscious effort every day to live and lead by example.
My hope is not simply to raise healthy children, but to nurture kind kids who love life—kids who may forget there are cookies in the house unless their bodies tell them they want one. I want them to listen to their incredible bodies, moving when they feel energetic, eating when they’re hungry, stopping when full, and learning from any overindulgence. Food is not the center of our lives; it’s important, but our days revolve around love, play, and joy—building towers, chasing lizards, and avoiding flying shoes when Marjorie throws her daily tantrum!
Raising healthy kids isn’t my ultimate goal; I’d rather cultivate kids who love themselves. Because when we truly love ourselves, we will honor our bodies. We’ll nourish, move, and rest them as they need. When we embrace self-love, we take care of our entire selves: mind, body, and spirit.
So go ahead, enjoy the McDonald’s, the kale smoothies, the daffodil sprouts, and yes, even the so-called “chemicals.”
This article was originally published on May 17, 2017.
Summary
In this reflective piece, Taylor Reynolds shares her journey from struggling with an eating disorder to embracing a balanced approach to food for herself and her children. She emphasizes the importance of not labeling food as “good” or “bad,” advocating for moderation and the normalization of all foods, including treats. With personal anecdotes and insights into the relationship between diet and health, Reynolds highlights the need for children to develop a healthy attitude toward food, free from guilt or shame. Her ultimate goal is to raise kind, self-loving kids who appreciate all types of food.