24 Indicators You’re Turning Into Your Mother

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I promised myself (and anyone who would listen) that I would never adopt my mother’s habits once I became a parent. I envisioned being the fun mom who would do yoga with my kids and maintain a calm demeanor at all times. Spontaneous adventures would be our norm, and my living room walls would be a canvas for creativity—complete with washable crayons, of course—while the soothing sounds of language tapes filled the air.

Then reality hit when I became a parent.

Turns out those “washable” crayons left their mark, and the language tapes? They lost their charm after just a few minutes. Spontaneous outings quickly turned into urgent trips to the drive-thru for caffeine or, let’s be honest, the liquor store. I thought I was still a cool mom until one day I found myself pretending to have a headache just to get some peace and quiet. That’s when it struck me: Oh no, I’m becoming my mother!

Before you start to panic, take a moment to check yourself against these 24 signs that might indicate you’re following in your mother’s footsteps:

1. No child leaves your home without undergoing the “mom inspection”: sniffing for strange odors, checking faces and hands for dirt, and asking multiple questions about bathroom needs or snacks.
2. You frequently talk about feeling bloated, having back pain, needing coffee, or feeling exhausted.
3. Your wardrobe now includes yoga pants, sweatpants, or elastic waistband jeans.
4. You’ve started to say things like, “I need to put my face on” before heading out, rushing to apply a quick coat of mascara.
5. You’ve been caught using the reflection of your stainless steel toaster to tweeze an errant chin hair.
6. You mutter under your breath so often that your own voice has become a constant background noise.
7. You’ve begun lectures with, “When I was your age…”
8. You’ve worn a coat over your pajamas, much to your children’s embarrassment, during morning drop-off.
9. You belt out songs from the ’80s while driving, completely ignoring how uncool it may seem.
10. You’ve mastered the art of the endless goodbye by initiating new conversations right after saying goodbye.
11. Your family knows exactly when you’ve indulged in ice cream, thanks to your newfound lactose intolerance.
12. You suddenly become conservative when it comes to your kids’ fashion choices, which now include rips, graphics, or questionable lengths.
13. You say things like, “1, 2… OMG! Don’t make me say 3!”
14. You’ve perfected your mother’s disapproving glare, which is effective not only on your kids but also on the neighborhood children.
15. You find yourself genuinely excited about attending PTA meetings (is this real life?!).
16. After several years of being a parent, you’ve come to understand that your mom’s mug didn’t always contain coffee at every event.
17. You’ve spun so many tales about food (“spaghetti is actually hair from a giant ninja”) that you’re starting to believe them yourself.
18. You can’t resist sharing amusing stories about your kids, like that time your son mooned the brownie troop.
19. Moms fart freely, especially after indulging in ice cream (see point #11).
20. You’ve found that the phrase “because I gave birth to you” is a handy excuse.
21. Your workout attire embarrasses your kids, especially when you do Pilates at home using DVDs—hello, Jane Fonda!
22. You once told your daughter that you hope she has children just like her—what a lesson!
23. You need a half a pot of coffee to function in the morning and, by the evening, a half bottle of wine.
24. You’ve developed strong opinions about Spanx, diets, and how long it’s acceptable to wear maternity pants after having your last child.

Mark my words, the moment you sneak an extra slice of cake and start mumbling about starting a diet tomorrow, it will hit you… you are becoming your mother.

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In summary, the journey of parenthood often leads us to mirror our own mothers in unexpected ways. Whether it’s through habits, sayings, or quirks, many of us will eventually find ourselves reflecting the very traits we once vowed to avoid. Understanding and accepting this evolution can make the parenting experience both humorous and relatable.