From a young age, my family relocated frequently. By the time I turned 10, I had lived in several different places, never staying in one spot for more than two years. My father’s job often took us to new cities, and my brothers and I grew accustomed to the phrase, “Kids, I got a promotion, and we’re off on an adventure!” Unfortunately, that adventure typically meant I had to adjust to being the new kid at school, packing and unpacking boxes for months, and experiencing yet another upheaval in my social life.
Although I learned to make friends quickly and adapt to new environments, I secretly yearned for stability. I wanted a life where I could leave something in my basement and find it three years later. I envied those kids who attended school with the same friends from kindergarten through high school and longed for the close-knit families with aunts, uncles, and grandparents just a stone’s throw away.
Determined to create my own roots, I resolved that when I grew up, I would establish my family in one location and never move again. I wanted my children to experience the stability I lacked during my childhood. So, when my father announced during my college years that he and my mother were relocating across the country with my two younger brothers, I made a choice. I decided to stay behind and nurture the life I had built in my college town. My parents were supportive, understanding my commitment to my studies, but guilt tugged at me. Choosing to live away from family was difficult; however, I had met my future husband, and I knew he was the right person with whom to put down roots.
Challenges of Living Far from Family
Living far from family isn’t easy. It’s challenging to please both sides during the holidays, and you often miss the everyday moments in your extended family’s lives. While technology like texting and video chats has improved communication, it can still feel isolating when you see Facebook photos of gatherings you can’t attend due to distance. Despite these challenges, there are some unexpected perks that come with having family scattered across the country.
Unexpected Perks
- No Surprise Visits: Let’s be honest—no one wants to host unexpected guests, especially at the crack of dawn. With family living far away, visits are planned, allowing for better preparation. I can stock up on their favorite snacks, and they won’t catch me in my pajamas yelling at the kids to tidy up the family room.
- Sweeter Reunions: When we prepare for our annual winter visit to see the grandparents, my children are more excited than they are on Christmas Eve. They text with their grandparents in anticipation, and as the date approaches, we reminisce about past visits and look forward to our cherished traditions. While saying goodbye is always tough, those reunions help us endure the long stretches apart.
- Building Our Village: With grandparents living out of town, we quickly learned the importance of creating a support network among neighbors and friends. We are fortunate to have a strong community that has become our second family during difficult times. While we would still have friends with family nearby, the bonds we’ve formed are deeper because we rely on each other more.
- Creating Our Own Traditions: Although we strive to spend holidays with family, there are times when it’s just the four of us. Those moments can be incredibly special; we’ve enjoyed Easter pizza parties and Christmas cereal under the tree. The distance has allowed us to strengthen our family unit and establish our own memorable traditions.
Living away from family presents challenges, but it also brings unexpected joys. While there are obvious inconveniences—like costly plane tickets for the holidays and navigating medical emergencies—I’m grateful for the choice I made to grow my own little family tree. Our branches are now strong, extending beyond what I ever imagined.
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In summary, while living far from family can be challenging, it also offers unique rewards that foster stronger family bonds and create cherished memories.