Dear Mom Friend,
I see you.
Today is Mother’s Day, and chances are someone is busy whipping up breakfast for you. Maybe they’ll even bring it to your bed, allowing you to savor it while basking in comfort. You might receive flowers or a piece of jewelry. And surely, there are homemade cards crafted from macaroni and construction paper waiting for you. While all of these gestures are lovely, I know they won’t truly lift the weight you carry.
What you really crave is acknowledgment. You want someone to recognize the struggles you face daily, the exhaustion that weighs heavily on your heart. You, the resilient matriarch, are longing for a moment when someone swoops in to lighten your load, if only for a day.
I see you. If no one else does, please know that I do. I can sense that this recognition has felt scarce lately.
As women, we are conditioned to manage everything effortlessly, to fulfill expectations with a smile. Meanwhile, our partners often take our realities at face value, leading to an inevitable gap in understanding. While motherhood is a blessing, it often comes with the burden of feeling misunderstood by those closest to us.
Yes, we’re taught that motherhood is a gift, but some days you might wish you could return it. Good luck trying to stuff a 4-year-old back into your body, right?
Perhaps this week has been tough because of your partner. You’re utterly drained and yearning for a nap. So much so that your body just gives in during a rare moment of shared downtime. Instead of recognizing your need for rest, your partner resents being left to manage everything on their “day off.”
I see the imbalance in your roles. They receive praise for attending a karate class, while you express a desire for a moment of peace and suddenly you’re the “bad mother.” I see your worry lines deepening. I see you inviting your feverish child into your bed, fully aware it means more laundry. I see you shifting over so your partner can have their space.
Sometimes, the frustration is rooted in family dynamics. Maybe your mother makes snide remarks about your parenting choices, or your father seems uninterested in you or your child. I see your fears, but remember, you are not them. You are stronger. You are more.
There are times when anger bubbles up, threatening to explode. Your body shakes with it, your hand involuntarily raises. But you don’t act on it. You haven’t, and you won’t. You fear that impulse, but I see the calm you nurture instead.
It’s alright to have moments where you dislike the mom experience. It’s even okay to feel frustration toward your child at times. You know that love and hate can coexist, just as you learned from your own mother. But you’re using that knowledge to empower your child. When they can pause in their rage and say, “Mom, I love you, but I’m so mad at you right now,” you’re teaching them resilience.
I see your shoulders weighed down by the responsibility of raising a kind and brave little person. Yet, you must remember: you will make mistakes. Your child will see them. Don’t hide your flaws; teach from them. Show your daughter how to learn and grow from errors.
Right now, you might be making a mistake. Yes, you’re struggling, but the real issue is how harshly you’re judging yourself. Your perspective is clouded by exhaustion and your relationship with your own mother. But I can see it clearly. You and your child share an unbreakable bond that no one else, not even your partner, can replicate. You are her truth.
I see the pride in your eyes when you say, “My kid is amazing.” And she is! Deep down, you know you played a part in that. I see you in her laughter. I see you in her kindness, like when she carefully picks up fallen Lego pieces or offers her last animal cracker. I see you when she beams after completing a puzzle.
I see your struggles and your determination to keep going. I see how deeply invested you are in shaping a strong and forgiving child. And I know that often leaves little for you. I want you to hear this: you are doing just fine. Not just your personal best, but more than enough by any standard. Most importantly, enough for her.
So, dear friend and fellow mother, my wish for you this Mother’s Day is simple: may you find the clarity to recognize yourself as I see you — enough. And may you drift into restful sleep, cradled in that knowledge.
If you’re looking for more resources on motherhood and home insemination, check out this helpful article on pregnancy or explore this home insemination kit for more support.
Summary
On this Mother’s Day, a heartfelt letter acknowledges the struggles of a friend who is a mother, emphasizing the importance of recognition, understanding, and the challenges of motherhood. It encourages her to see her worth and the unique bond she shares with her child, despite societal pressures and personal struggles.