Being a parent is a challenging journey, but becoming a foster parent requires an exceptional level of resilience. To foster a child is to fully open your home and heart, all while knowing that one day, the little one you’ve come to love may need to leave.
Lila Thompson understands this bittersweet reality intimately. In a heartfelt post shared on the Facebook page Love What Matters, the foster mom recently reflected on the emotional experience of saying goodbye to a baby girl who had been a part of her family for the past six months. “We didn’t win,” she writes, “and by ‘didn’t win,’ I mean I didn’t get my way.”
Lila describes how her family welcomed this baby girl into their lives, and now, as she prepares to move in with her sisters, she worries about how the child will adjust. “I hope they learn she’s a bit like the Princess and the Pea, needing a soft pillow to sleep soundly at night,” she muses. “Otherwise, she might wake up grunting, unable to find comfort.” She also reflects on the little moments, like teaching the baby sign language, and feels a profound loss at the thought of not being able to continue those lessons. “She’ll sign ‘please’ when she’s hungry, but I never got to teach her ‘thank you’,” she sighs.
Lila struggles to explain the departure to her biological son, who is grappling with his own feelings about the situation. “But we’re her brothers,” he replies, leaving Lila feeling helpless. She admits that at this moment, there doesn’t seem to be a silver lining to the loss. “The look on his face told me that my explanation fell short. It doesn’t make sense to him, and honestly, it doesn’t make sense to me either.”
Before parting, Lila ensures that the baby feels loved. She prepares a lavender-scented bath and fills her sippy cup, expressing her affection through hugs. “I told her I loved her and made sure to squeeze her tight, even if she squirmed,” she writes. “She enjoys cuddles but doesn’t like to be confined.” As she thinks about how long it will take for the new family to learn her quirks, Lila’s heart aches.
Her words resonate deeply, and one could understand if Lila felt that fostering was too painful a journey. “The heartache is overwhelming tonight. The tears just won’t stop,” she confesses. “This first goodbye hurts far more than I expected, and it’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.” Yet, in spite of the challenges, Lila believes the experience is worthwhile. She has no regrets about her choice to foster and is ready for what comes next. “When that familiar number lights up my phone, asking if we can open our hearts to another child in need, I already know my answer,” she states. “Absolutely. We’re in. Whether it’s for six months or forever, we’re here to love.”
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In summary, Lila’s poignant reflection on the heartache of saying goodbye captures the deep emotional struggles faced by foster parents. Despite the pain of parting, her commitment to loving children in need remains steadfast.