I was having a conversation with a colleague, a new dad in his early thirties who was feeling anxious about his daughter’s reliance on her pacifier. “She won’t sleep without one,” he admitted, “and I’m worried about buying too many because I’ve heard it might make it tougher to break the habit down the line.”
We were in his cramped office, which felt as snug as a too-small suit jacket on a big guy like him. He was a former college football player from Los Angeles, not someone who typically exudes fear. Yet there he was, fretting over what he termed his daughter’s potential “binky addiction,” as if that was a real concern beyond the rave scene.
I raised my hands in a calming gesture. “Don’t sweat that stuff,” I assured him. He looked at me with the bewildered expression common to every new parent—one who has torn pages from parenting books and scrutinized every food label in the grocery store, all while their child is in the shopping cart throwing a fit over fruit snacks. Experienced parents know well that their little ones are likely to reject that quinoa casserole in favor of the ever-popular mac and cheese.
The crux of parenting lies not in abandoning all efforts but in realizing that not everything deserves your obsessive attention. You can’t control every detail of your child’s life. They’re going to do their thing, and your role is to steer them gently in the right direction.
“Listen,” I said, “I’m a father of three and have been for a decade. My wife and I went through the same worries. Every one of our kids was attached to their binkies, and you know what happened?”
“What?” he asked, intrigued.
“Nothing significant. They outgrew it. Until they’re ready, it’s just going to be a battle filled with unnecessary anxiety. And for what? A piece of plastic? A comfort item? Don’t stress it. In fact, stock up on them. It’ll simplify your life.”
“Want to know the parenting secret?” I added, “Are you prepared? Mac and cheese. Just embrace it. Load up on that stuff. The same applies to binkies.”
He didn’t seem thrilled with my advice, and honestly, I wouldn’t have been either. When my wife and I first became parents, we often fixated on the minutiae. But eventually, we learned to let go of stress over trivial matters. For instance, my toddler always kicks off her shoes on the way to the store. I could get frustrated, but she’ll just find a way to get them off regardless. So, I simply let her go shoeless in the cart. It’s all good.
What I’m trying to convey is that parenting is about choosing your battles wisely. That could mean buying a stash of pacifiers or letting your child head to the store without shoes. It might also involve sending your son to school with his hair tousled because he refuses to comb it.
It’s all part of the journey, and things will ultimately work out. If you’re a new parent, remember that not every situation warrants stress. What truly matters is time. Spend quality moments with your kids. Watch movies together, lie down on the floor and let them crawl all over you. When you get home from work, drop everything and snuggle for a while. That’s what counts.
My colleague paused, his expression turning serious. I understood his worries—parenting is a serious endeavor, especially for new parents who tend to fixate on every little detail.
“I’m sincere,” I said. “Just give your kid binkies. Buy plenty of them. Have one in every room. Don’t resist it. Once she’s happily sucking on one and has another in each hand, snuggle with her. That’s what really matters. Everything will be alright. When she’s ready to let them go, you’ll know, and within days she’ll move on to the next phase. That’s just parenting. In the meantime, enjoy those cuddle moments.”
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Summary
The article emphasizes the importance of not sweating the small stuff in parenting, particularly regarding pacifiers and other minor issues. It encourages new parents to focus on quality time with their children rather than stressing over every little detail, assuring them that things will work out in the long run.