A few years back, we were visiting some family friends with kids of similar ages. While the children ran amok, the adults enjoyed some peace and conversation. I stepped into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, only to be met with a truly alarming sight: my child’s filthy socks, crumpled up and perched on our friend’s kitchen counter.
Before you assume it was an innocent toddler, let me clarify—my child was 10 years old.
Regrettably, that was not a one-time incident in the realm of my children’s gross behaviors. I like to think of myself as a fairly cultured individual. Sure, our family enjoys laughing at farts, but that’s about the extent of our uncouth habits. My husband and I have made earnest attempts to instill proper manners in our children and to teach them what constitutes acceptable behavior. Yet, despite our best efforts, it seems we have fallen short.
One of my children, who remains nameless for their sake, had a particularly troubling habit of picking their nose and wiping it on their pillow each night. I can only assume they did this nightly, as the mountain of crusty remnants discovered on laundry day was truly appalling. All three of our kids went through a phase of nose-picking, despite our constant demonstrations of how to use a tissue and persistent reminders to steer clear of their noses. Even after we enforced hand-washing after nose excursions, they continued this yucky habit.
As if that wasn’t revolting enough, there were times we caught them in the act of not just picking their noses but eating the findings. Ugh, I can barely write that without wanting to gag. I vividly remember one occasion when my 4-year-old was at a table full of guests, digging deep into their nose. When I told them to remove their finger, they did—along with a gigantic booger. And as I started to instruct them to grab a tissue, they popped that same finger straight into their mouth. The moment felt like it was unfolding in slow motion, my voice echoing, “Go grab a…noooooo!” while they ingested their booger like it was candy. The public setting made the embarrassment even worse.
I often reflect on where we might have gone wrong. Are children inherently gross little beings? Does it take years of diligent training to mold them into civilized individuals who understand basic decorum? Or are our kids merely on the less refined side of normal?
What adds to the stress is the judgment we face from others. It seems everyone assumes we are responsible for our children’s caveman-like behavior. Every time one of them does something repulsive, I want to shout, “I SWEAR WE AREN’T RAISING THEM LIKE THIS!”
However, I do take comfort in the fact that we have successfully guided one child into their teenage years, and she no longer exhibits gross behavior in public. In fact, she’s quite the opposite. Our middle schooler rarely embarrasses us now, which gives me hope that our parenting methods have some long-term effectiveness.
Recently, I felt a sense of relief when a friend’s son visited our house and left his own dirty socks on our dining table—he’s also 10 years old. My immediate reaction was disgust, quickly followed by gratitude that our kids aren’t the only ones with questionable habits.
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In summary, parenting often comes with its share of embarrassments, especially when it comes to gross habits like nose-picking and sock mishaps. Yet, amidst the chaos, we can find solace in knowing we are not alone in this journey.