Parenting Insights
The human body is truly remarkable. When I was pregnant, I found it nothing short of miraculous. Just days after a spontaneous moment of intimacy, I sensed I was expecting our second child. Even at 35, the odds seemed slim, but I was certain. Before even taking a test, I began calculating the weeks, mentally estimating a due date in early December, which meant I would have a September baby.
In today’s society, being born in September carries a certain weight. This thought lingered in the back of my mind, particularly when I learned I was having a boy. As the kindergarten enrollment date approached, I noticed fellow mothers squirming when they asked, “What will you do about school?”
Many mothers who chose to hold their late-born sons back were overwhelmingly pleased with their decision. Conversely, those who didn’t and faced having their sons repeat a grade expressed regret over the social pressures involved. They urged me to consider delaying my son’s enrollment for his future advantages. Discussions revolved around various factors: fine motor skills, ability to follow instructions, and maturity. A common theme among mothers was the physicality of boys—they echoed sentiments that being older, bigger, and faster would be beneficial compared to being younger, smaller, and slower.
As a professional in education, I have spent years teaching in classrooms and now train future educators at the university level. Holding a doctorate in special education, I understand developmental milestones and best practices. Yet, I also recognize that today’s kindergarten resembles what first grade used to be. I was familiar with our school’s requirements, but that didn’t clarify my path forward.
Ultimately, I decided to delay my September boy’s entry into kindergarten—not for the reasons one might expect.
As our registration period approached in January, I grappled with the dilemma of whether to enroll him early or not. Each option came with its own set of potential consequences. Some days, I wished for a third alternative. I knew I would need to blend my professional insights with my son’s individual needs, allowing him to guide my decision.
My September boy is intelligent and capable, and he likely could have navigated kindergarten at just 4 years old. However, in the months leading to registration, I observed him one morning, lounging in his pajamas, deeply engrossed in constructing a Lego suspension bridge. His focus was intense as he strategized his next steps, testing his engineering skills with a line of toy tanker cars.
In that moment, I realized the burden of decision-making had shifted. This was no longer just a decision I had to make; it was one I had the opportunity to make. I recognized that my son had the precious gift of time, and I was committed to providing it to him.
So, we indulged him with an additional year of childhood wonder. Instead of rushing to school by 7:15 a.m., we enjoyed lazy mornings until 8:15 a.m., leisurely driving to preschool, often taking the scenic route. Rather than facing the rigidity of extended seat time, he engaged in unstructured play, imaginative dress-up, and cozy Fridays at home. Instead of navigating large school hallways and cafeteria trays, he relished classroom snacks and learned to pour his own milk.
Societal pressures place significant demands on school-aged children, and these expectations only intensified the meaning of being a September baby. While I may not be ready to challenge the status quo, I believe in taking steps to shield my child from its pressures.
In choosing to delay my son’s kindergarten start, I found it was the right decision for our family. As the school year drew to a close, I saw that granting him the gift of time was the best choice we could have made. He entered school when he was ready, which translated into confidence, happiness, and a genuine love for learning. I firmly believe that this extra time allowed him to thrive in ways that would have been compromised otherwise. His future physical attributes—whether he is taller or faster than his peers—are less significant to me than the joyful and spirited little boy he is today, who adores school.
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Summary:
As an educator and a mother, I chose to delay my September child’s start to kindergarten, understanding the importance of providing him with the gift of time. This decision, influenced by my professional background and observations of my son, allowed him to flourish both socially and academically. The extra year proved invaluable, resulting in a confident and joyful child who truly loves learning.