A few years back, we found ourselves visiting some family friends. Our kids, all around the same age, were busy playing while the adults engaged in conversation. At one point, I wandered into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, only to be met with a truly unsettling sight: my child’s filthy socks, crumpled up and carelessly left on our friend’s kitchen counter.
You might think this behavior could be excused if the culprit were a toddler or preschooler, but my child was ten years old.
I wish I could say this was a one-time incident, but sadly, it’s not. Despite my attempts to instill a sense of refinement in our family, we occasionally find ourselves grappling with some truly gross habits. My husband and I have worked hard to teach our children good manners and to be as pleasant as possible, but it seems our efforts have often fallen short.
One of my children, whom I’ll refer to as “Kid X,” had a particularly egregious habit of picking their nose and wiping it on their pillow every night. I can only assume this was a nightly ritual, given the alarming amount of crusty remnants I discovered when laundry day arrived. Disgusting!
All three of our kids have gone through phases of nose-picking, no matter how many times we demonstrated proper tissue usage or reminded them to keep their hands out of their noses. And the real kicker? Occasionally, we caught them in the act of not just picking but actually eating their boogers. Just writing that made me a little queasy!
I vividly remember one instance where Kid X, at the tender age of four, was at a table full of people digging for treasure in their nose. I instructed them to remove their finger, which they did, but along came a monstrous booger. Just as I was about to suggest they grab a tissue, they popped it right into their mouth! Time seemed to slow as I shouted, “Noooooo!” while the event unfolded in a public restaurant, amplifying my embarrassment.
I often ponder where we went wrong. Are children inherently disgusting? Does it really take years of training to mold them into civilized beings with a basic understanding of what’s socially acceptable? Are our kids just on the messy end of the normal spectrum?
The worst part is the judgment that comes from others. When my kids engage in their less-than-pleasant behaviors, I can almost hear the whispers: “What kind of parents are they?” I want to hold up a sign that exclaims, “WE ARE NOT RAISING THEM LIKE THIS!”
At least I take solace in the fact that we managed to guide one child to the teenage years without any gross public displays. In fact, she’s quite the opposite now. Our middle-schooler has also toned down their embarrassing antics, which gives me hope that our parenting methods are effective in the long run.
Recently, a friend’s son came over and casually left his dirty socks on our dining table. He’s also ten. My first instinct was to cringe, but then I felt an overwhelming sense of relief knowing we’re not alone in this parenting struggle.
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In summary, while navigating the challenges of parenting, we often encounter moments of sheer disgust. Yet, we must remember that these phases are part of growing up, and with patience, our children can learn to embrace more civilized behaviors.