I’m not great at many things, and honestly, I’m okay with that. I struggle to peel a hardboiled egg without ruining it. Sports? Not my forte. Math? My high school teacher would likely be horrified by how little I recall. And when it comes to putting together a stylish outfit, I always need to consult Pinterest or a mannequin first. Yes, my skill set has its gaps, but I usually brush them off without much thought. However, there’s one area where I do feel a twinge of guilt.
Friendship
I admit that I can be quite the slacker when it comes to maintaining friendships. I often take my time responding to texts, snaps, and Facebook messages. Phone calls? I might miss them and forget to call back—or I might promise to return a call and then completely lose track of time. There are times when a month or more can pass without any meaningful interaction.
If my friends don’t come and drag me out of my cave or show up unexpectedly, they might not hear from me for weeks. Sure, I might share a funny meme or comment on their social media posts to indicate that I’m still around, but my level of engagement is pretty minimal. I keep a quiet watch over their lives as I scroll through my Facebook feed, and as long as I know they’re managing fine without my constant presence, I don’t push myself to reach out.
Let me be clear: I genuinely love my friends. I think about them daily and would be there in a heartbeat if they faced a crisis. However, when it comes to the everyday check-ins—the simple act of saying “hey”—I really fall short. Something will remind me of a dear friend, and I’ll think, “I should tell her about this,” but then I never do. Life often overwhelms me; my plate is so full that I struggle to take on even the smallest tasks, like a quick phone chat. A conversation can easily stretch to a half-hour, and that’s time I feel I need to catch up on everything else piling up.
In my younger days, I was a better friend. I had more time and energy to devote to chats, pedicures, and girls’ nights. Now, I can barely muster the energy to fold the laundry (which is why it’s currently wrinkling in the basket—something has to give).
I’ve lost friends due to my tendency to go quiet, and I can’t fault them for moving on. But those were likely more superficial connections—acquaintances who didn’t quite understand. My true friends know not to take my absence personally. They recognize that I tend to retreat when life becomes too chaotic, which unfortunately is quite often. During those times, maintaining friendships takes a back seat, and my communication boils down to quick snaps and Facebook likes sent from my phone while I’m occupied.
The silver lining is that my friends get it. They don’t judge me for flaking out or pulling back when my anxiety and overwhelm take hold. The fact that I can feel safe enough to step away speaks volumes: I know they’re not going anywhere. When I’m finally able to resurface, I can reconnect as if no time has passed, and it feels like we never missed a beat.
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In summary, while I may struggle to keep in touch with my friends, I know that the bonds we share are strong enough to withstand the ebbs and flows of life. Understanding friends are a treasure, and I’m grateful for those who allow me the space to come back when I can.