It’s that time again.
My home is spotless. I manage to put everything back in its proper place, scrub each room until it gleams, and for a brief moment, everything shines. The air is filled with a synthetic scent reminiscent of a tropical rainforest. We can finally relax on the couch without our clothes picking up enough cat hair to make a decorative pillow. Everyone retires to their beds made with fresh sheets, dressed in clean pajamas.
And all this comes at the cost of my entire day, which I should have spent engaging with my kids but instead spent parked in front of the TV. Plus, I sacrificed countless hours over several days, likely including an entire weekend.
The best part? I have two young children, and by the time I wake up the next morning, my home is a complete disaster again. It’s enough to push any woman toward a life of housecoats and chain smoking.
No one seems to claim they’re choosing to be housewives anymore. I didn’t sign up to be the homemaker of my home; I opted to be a stay-at-home mom. The title has evolved, suggesting a shift in focus, yet the responsibilities have only multiplied. My role extends beyond keeping the house tidy; it includes preparing healthy meals that require chopping an ungodly amount of produce. It’s about playing with my children and cherishing these fleeting moments while also feeling like they’re not growing up fast enough.
You know why women in the 1950s had immaculate homes? They weren’t burdened with all these additional duties. They’d toss ground meat and canned soup into a casserole dish, and dinner was served. Their kids entertained themselves, often off exploring the neighborhood until it was time for that meat-soup feast. Also, let’s not forget the impact of patriarchy, but that’s a discussion for another time.
I can’t function well in a chaotic environment. My home is often messy, but I tend to operate at a constant state of anxiety, directly linked to how cluttered my house is and how long it’s been that way. By the time I finally get everything clean, I’m completely drained and can barely relax for more than eight minutes.
So I’m making a decision. It’s about time—and I should have done this ages ago.
I’m hiring a housekeeper.
Absolutely, yes!
I want to be a mom. I want to cook nutritious meals for my family. I want to carve out time for myself to do things like exercise, so my body doesn’t stiffen up when I hit my 40s. Maybe even take a shower? But these desires always fall second to maintaining our home, and I’m fed up with prioritizing everything else—especially when my own well-being is at stake.
Every two weeks, someone will come to my house to clean my baseboards, vacuum and mop the floors, scrub the bathrooms, and wash the windows. I’ll have help with dusting, tidying, and disinfecting. I will still manage the daily upkeep, but without the overwhelming stress of needing to tackle larger cleaning tasks.
I’ve contemplated this decision many times, but I always held back. It feels extravagant to spend money on chores I could do myself. But that’s precisely the point: I’m not doing them. The likelihood of my habits changing tomorrow is pretty slim. However, my daily life can improve significantly if I’m not constantly battling the guilt of neglecting chores while trying to enjoy my children or engage in work that fulfills me.
We’re not wealthy, but I can make this work by cutting expenses in other areas and sticking to a stricter budget. I’ll figure it out.
With the immense pressure we women place on one another and ourselves to be “on” all the time, something has to give. I’m tired of that something being my health and happiness, sacrificed on the altar of all-purpose cleaner.
I won’t feel guilty. I won’t feel ashamed. I’ll feel absolutely thrilled to have extra time in my days to do whatever brings me joy. (Spoiler: It’s definitely not dusting.)
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In summary, I’ve made the call to hire a housekeeper to reclaim my time and sanity. This decision will allow me to prioritize my family and self-care without the burden of constant cleaning. I’m excited for the change and ready to embrace a more balanced life.