I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that my mid-30s have sparked a significant identity crisis, and I feel the need to share my experiences. I sincerely hope there are others out there grappling with similar feelings, and perhaps we can exchange insights, encouragement, or at the very least, a sense of camaraderie.
Over the past five years, as I transitioned from my 20s into my 30s, I’ve encountered a perplexing blend of emotions. It’s a confusing state where I long to relive the carefree days of my youth—rocking my Converse sneakers, scrolling through trendy clothing racks, and posting whimsical food court snaps—while simultaneously yearning to be the diligent mom pushing a toddler in a shopping cart at the local Stein Mart, on a quest for those elusive, practical leggings that are both comfortable and suitable for work.
The dichotomy is striking. I want to text my friends the latest outrageous memes while also engaging in serious discussions with my husband about the realities of childhood safety as my daughter approaches the slumber party phase. I crave the nostalgia of sipping on Kool-Aid Jammers alongside microwaved Lunchables but also desire the sophistication of a light goat cheese salad from the market.
I find myself caught between binge-watching “Full House” and scrolling through celebrity Instagram stories, all while contemplating whether to swap my current purse for the chic crossbody Liz Claiborne bag my mother-in-law gifted me for Christmas. Yes, Liz Claiborne—an undeniable sign of my shifting identity.
I often feel lost, oscillating between the carefree spirit of my younger self and the more responsible, organized 34-year-old mother I’m expected to be. The internal conflict is palpable, especially when I find myself using a phrase like “got me trippin’” at the age of 34. Shouldn’t I be grown-up enough to avoid such slang? Instead, I could just indulge in a pack of Sour Patch Kids!
Writing this has proven to be a therapeutic experience. I’ve come to realize that embracing just one of these identities feels rather bleak. Who wants to be the “trying too hard to be trendy” mom? Conversely, I’m not ready to fully embrace the world of Macy’s, Family Circle, and adult responsibilities just yet. I mean, really, is steam cleaning my couch something I should be doing annually?
So here I am, balancing precariously between two identities I love and loathe. If you’re in the same boat, feel free to join me in this journey. I’ll revisit my identity crisis when I reach 40 or even 50. Or maybe I’ll just stick with my youthful vibe, because who wouldn’t want to stay in their twenties forever?
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Summary:
In this candid reflection, I explore the tumultuous journey of navigating my mid-30s identity crisis, caught between the carefree essence of my younger self and the responsibilities of motherhood. I invite others facing similar struggles to connect as we share this unique experience.