Dear Beloved Children,
Tonight, I found myself giving in to peer pressure (the very thing I always warn you against) and decided to accompany some friends to watch Fifty Shades of Grey. I ignored that nagging voice inside my head urging me to just say “no!” after all, it’s just a movie, right? I wish I had listened, but in some ways, I’m grateful I went because now I have important thoughts to share with you.
Soon, you’ll reach an age where you might be curious enough to watch movies like Fifty Shades of Grey. Whether you choose to see it on your own or sneak a peek with friends, I must face the reality that you will encounter this film at some point. This letter is meant to ensure that when that day arrives, you’ll recognize Fifty Shades of Grey for what it truly is rather than what it pretends to be.
What Fifty Shades of Grey Is Not
First and foremost, let me clarify what Fifty Shades of Grey is not.
It is not a love story. While it may masquerade as one, I assure you that love takes a backseat in this narrative. It’s also far from a romantic fairy tale with a sprinkle of harmless naughtiness. True romance is glaringly absent. The so-called “harmless” S&M depicted in this film conveys a harmful message. This movie showcases a wealthy, handsome man who uses his power to seduce and manipulate a naive young woman into doing things that make her uncomfortable. They are not equals; there is no partnership. In essence, it is a tale about a self-absorbed man’s controlling and violent sexual desires, exploiting a vulnerable woman for his own gratification.
As I sat in the theater looking at the hundreds of women around me, all entranced by this so-called “sexy love story,” I felt a wave of nausea. If an entire theater full of women three times your age couldn’t see the damaging implications of this plot, how can I expect young boys and girls to understand its significance?
My daughters, please don’t let the romanticizing of sexual abuse mislead you into thinking you should ever accept treatment like Anastasia Steele. And my son, don’t ever think it’s acceptable to intimidate or manipulate a woman like the character Christian Grey. Nobody deserves to be disrespected, manipulated, or violated against their will.
The Importance of Healthy Relationships
When you find yourselves in relationships, I hope you realize that intimacy should always be enjoyable for both partners, regardless of personal preferences. Consent obtained under pressure is not consent at all. You should expect respect and be willing to give it in return.
After exiting the cinema, I felt a mix of dread and sorrow for your generation. If this film becomes a reference point for love and romance, we need to set some crucial boundaries.
- If someone shows up unannounced at your place of work, acting possessively, it’s not romantic; it’s creepy.
- If you express that you are a virgin and your partner responds by violently taking that from you, it’s assault, not love.
- Tracking your movements when you’re out with friends and taking you to a hotel when you’re too intoxicated to think clearly is not protection; it’s stalking.
- If someone enters your apartment without permission, it’s not romantic; it’s breaking and entering.
- If you say you’re not interested and he ties you up and ignores your pleas, it’s not passion; it’s rape.
- Selling your possessions without your consent, even under the guise of a surprise, is theft and manipulation.
- Monitoring your phone calls and threatening you over another man’s call is not love; it’s abuse.
- And if someone derives pleasure from inflicting pain upon you while ignoring your distress, no amount of justification can mask the fact that love and romance are entirely absent from the equation.
This film disturbed me deeply, and I have real-life experiences to reflect upon. I shudder at the thought of you growing up with narratives like this, mistaking them for normal relationship dynamics.
Remember This
My dear children, please remember this: Love is gentle. Love never takes; it never demands. Love waits for consent and does not rely on extravagant gestures. True love is enough. When love is present, that inner voice urging you to question things will be at peace.
Listen to me on this, if nothing else. And if you choose to ignore my words, at least heed the voice within you.
With all my love,
Mum
For further insights, check out this informative post on relationships and consent. If you’re curious about at-home insemination options, Make A Mom is a reliable source for kits. For more information on fertility, refer to this excellent resource from Science Daily.
In summary, Fifty Shades of Grey is a film that misrepresents love and healthy relationships. It is crucial to recognize the difference between genuine affection and manipulation. True love is respectful, consensual, and mutually enjoyable.
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