“My name is Max, and I’m 9 years old. I have OCD, and it makes everyday life really tough for me. Going to school is especially hard because I fear I might do something embarrassing like shout inappropriate words or spit my food on the floor and then feel like I have to eat it again. I don’t want to act this way, but OCD constantly nags at me, leaving me stressed and anxious. The same feelings follow me home. At night, I often feel compelled to check for monsters under my bed or to inflict more pain on a cut or bruise. This means I’m either anxious or in a bad mood all the time.”
These are the candid thoughts of my son. He is a remarkable child—imaginative, lively, compassionate, and so much more. Yet, he struggles with loneliness and stress, feeling that no one truly understands him. Just last night, he expressed a desire for a normal life, free from the grip of OCD. My heart aches for him as he feels overwhelmed and believes that battling OCD is an uphill struggle.
Here’s how Max describes his day at school:
- 9:00 a.m. — “Morning meeting: It’s fun but also stressful because I’m terrified I might accidentally swear or do something embarrassing in front of everyone.”
- 9:30 a.m. — “Math: I feel anxious here too, worrying that I might make loud noises or write something inappropriate on the Smart Board.”
- 10:30 a.m. — “Reading: The quietness makes me anxious about swearing or making noises.”
- 11:10 a.m. — “Recess and lunch: While I generally enjoy recess, sometimes I have urges to harm myself. I’m relieved it’s warm outside; I used to put my tongue on metal poles. At lunch, I eat in groups of three bites and sometimes drop food on purpose, feeling compelled to eat it afterward.”
- 12:00 p.m. — “Writing: This class is the hardest for me. I like my teacher, but the quietness raises my anxiety, and I often feel the urge to swear or tear up my paper.”
- 12:30 p.m. — “Specialists: Gym is usually good, although I occasionally feel the urge to act strangely. Art, music, and Spanish classes are just as stressful as the others.”
- 1:35 p.m. — “Social Studies and Science: Some days are better when we have hands-on activities. But when the classroom is quiet or we work in pairs, my anxiety spikes.”
- 2:30 p.m. — “Free-choice time: This is the one part of the day I feel relaxed. I can read or play without worrying about being overheard.”
- 3:30 p.m. — “The bus ride is manageable, as long as I’m not near the emergency alarm. If I sit too close, I struggle not to pull it.”
Max also shared, “Whenever I walk down the hall, I need to touch my knees to the floor in sets of three. There are many other compulsions too, like the urge to scribble on my paper or take things that don’t belong to me. I recently got a bruise that I feel like hitting with a hammer. I know I shouldn’t do it, but my OCD convinces me otherwise. It’s tough to share these feelings because I worry people won’t understand.”
He wants to share his story to help others grasp what it’s like living with OCD. Max feels drained from the constant fight against it and the fear of being discovered only makes it worse. He longs for connection and reassurance that, despite his struggles, he is “OK.”
If you have experienced OCD, could you please leave some encouraging words for him? Let him know he isn’t alone and that hope exists. And for those unfamiliar with OCD, thank you for taking the time to read this. While you may never fully understand the battle against OCD urges, I hope Max’s story fosters greater empathy for those who endure it.
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In summary, Max’s perspective sheds light on the daily challenges faced by kids with OCD. His experiences highlight the importance of understanding and support from family, friends, and the community.