I was venting to a colleague about my toddler’s sleep issues. I mentioned how she refused to sleep until nearly 11 p.m. the previous night and was wide awake at 5 a.m., eager to watch her favorite show. “Sounds like it might be time to ditch her nap,” he suggested, lifting his eyebrows in that familiar way that signifies he thinks I need to toughen up. Eric and I have been working together for a few years now. He’s a retired military officer with two teenagers. His nickname at the office is “Grumpy Bear,” a fitting title for someone who believes in the “tough love” approach.
“Yeah, I’ll consider it,” I replied, but the truth is, that wasn’t a serious consideration. I’ve heard similar advice from others—childless friends who don’t understand why I wouldn’t forgo naptime for a social event, and even my mother has expressed her frustration. It seems she’s forgotten a few key truths about parenting.
I adore my daughter, Mia. She’s funny, inquisitive, and incredibly charming, but let’s be real: she can be a handful. This isn’t a critique of her character; it’s simply the reality of raising a two-year-old, which is arguably one of the most challenging yet rewarding roles anyone can undertake.
If I really want to turn Mia into a moody, tantrum-throwing little monster, I’d take away her nap. While I’ve never intentionally tried to eliminate her naptime, there have been moments when she resisted sleep, and the result was akin to having a hyperactive raccoon roaming around my living room.
I refuse to put myself—or my wife, who is capable of handling anything, even having gone through three C-sections—through that chaos. It’s not that she can’t manage a cranky toddler; it’s just that I wouldn’t wish a sleep-deprived child on anyone. Nor would I want to deprive my wife of that precious one to two-hour break during the day.
This is the paradox of parenting: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. When it comes to getting your child to sleep at the right times, it seems there’s no perfect solution. I can already imagine some sleep expert preparing to bombard the comments section with promises of guaranteed sleep solutions for a fee, or someone sharing the secret to their perfectly sleeping child, or even someone trying to sell me essential oils. If that’s you, please stop reading now—this piece isn’t meant for you.
This is for the parents like me, who are grappling with children that can’t seem to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, even into their teenage years. I have three kids, and sleep has been a struggle for all of them. They’ve all exhibited moodiness when naps were skipped and have sent me to work bleary-eyed and confused, sometimes dozing off on public transport and waking up in unfamiliar places. Yes, that really happened to me.
My wife and I have had our share of late-night arguments, both of us foggy-headed and exhausted, questioning our sanity during the day while cherishing those sacred moments of naptime.
Ultimately, the lesson I’ve learned through raising my three children is simple: I can attempt to manage or dictate their sleep, but ultimately, they are the ones in control. They will figure it out on their own, eventually. So, for now, I urge you to treasure those naps. Enjoy every minute of them. If you can, take a moment to rest alongside them. Stay strong; they will likely find their rhythm in time.
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In summary, as parents, we often face the challenge of balancing our child’s needs with our own sanity. Nap time is crucial for both child and parent alike, and embracing this small pocket of peace can make all the difference.