During my pregnancy, I received multiple reassurances from trusted sources that having a baby wouldn’t ruin my body. Given my genetic background, I was surprised to find myself relatively unscathed by stretch marks and able to shed the baby weight within a few weeks. At first glance, it seemed I had “gotten my body back.” However, below the waistband of my yoga pants lies a different narrative entirely.
Almost two years after my daughter’s birth, I am still navigating the aftermath of postpartum challenges. Issues thought to resolve after childbirth are still wreaking havoc down below, and I even developed a perplexing vaginal infection (I suspect it was Colonel Mustard in the library with the bacteria). In my postpartum journey, I can’t shake the feeling of being the tragic character in a comedic saga.
Pregnancy: The Beginning of the Chaos
Before diving into my postpartum struggles, I must address the condition that landed me in this predicament: pregnancy itself. It was anything but gentle on my body, marked by nausea, vomiting, round ligament pain, and heartburn. But the absolute worst? The pregnancy hemorrhoids. I’m talking about massive, purple “piles” the size of a newborn’s fist. One of them was so large I named her Gertrude, and she’s always eager to make your acquaintance.
Labor and Delivery
Labor and delivery are no walk in the park, especially after having several hemorrhoids removed—excised is the proper term, but it felt more like an exorcism. Thankfully, you’re rewarded with a baby and the promise that your pregnancy woes are behind you.
That is, until the pain medication wears off. A glance in the mirror reveals the harsh truth: I had an episiotomy, resulting in a perineal situation reminiscent of Frankenstein. Recovery took about five weeks, and while I thought I had survived the worst, I was mistaken.
Postpartum Struggles
Within months, my hemorrhoids returned, and I found myself so constipated that I developed fissures. Remember those jawbreakers from the ’90s? The ones with the jagged, white flecks? I’m pretty sure I had one lodged in my colon.
Just as I began to accept my new reality, I experienced severe itchiness and dryness in my intimate areas. I held off on seeking medical help until I stood up from playing with my baby and tore my labia. Yes, that can happen.
I promptly made my way to my doctor’s office, hoping for a radical solution. Instead, I left with $100 worth of treatments: antifungal creams, probiotics, baby oil, MiraLAX, Metamucil, and glycerin suppositories. Yet, my condition didn’t improve.
At the clinic, the OB-GYN decided to test me for herpes. The process involves a sizable Q-tip and your already tender area—not pleasant. Although herpes can lie dormant, I dreaded explaining to my husband that I had contracted an STD while he was deployed. Thankfully, the test came back negative. Another culture was taken, and they suspected a bacterial issue, prescribing antibiotics.
Meanwhile, at the colorectal surgeon’s office, I was preparing for an examination in the most vulnerable position imaginable (and I had already given birth!). Apparently, one fissure is normal, but I had a situation that resembled a compass rose. A colonoscopy loomed in my future, and in the meantime, I was advised to take a cocktail of stool softeners, laxatives, and butt creams.
As if that wasn’t enough, test results revealed staph in my nether regions. I had no idea that was even possible, but apparently, my underwear had become a petri dish. Although antibiotics were the treatment plan, the doctor added an antifungal, perhaps as an extra precaution?
The Unwritten Guide to Postpartum Recovery
No one truly prepares you for postpartum recovery. You can’t find a copy of “What to Expect When You’re Finished Expecting.” My experience is not universal, and while I remain cautiously optimistic about my recovery, I still believe that despite everything, having a child was the best decision of my life—even if it came with unexpected consequences.
For further reading on this topic, consider checking out this other blog post or exploring Make A Mom, a reliable source for couples on their fertility journey. Also, the CDC provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, my postpartum journey has been fraught with unexpected challenges, but it has also highlighted the beauty of motherhood. Though the physical aftermath is still a work in progress, my love for my child remains unwavering.