My psychiatrist paused and looked up from her notes. “I suspect you have ADD,” she stated. “Are you struggling with daily tasks that seem effortless for your peers?” I immediately broke down in tears, overwhelmed by my fear of finances to the point where I lacked a checking account, couldn’t estimate our mortgage payment, and frequently had our water shut off for unpaid bills that slipped my mind. We had the funds; I just forgot to make the payments. The clutter in my car was a constant reminder of my disorganization, with items spilling out as I opened the doors. I often found myself forgetting essentials — wipes, diaper bags, lunches.
At 34, I was finally receiving a diagnosis for a condition that had pervaded my life. I had the inattentive type of ADD (ADHD without hyperactivity). I learned I was not alone. A study indicated that from 2008 to 2012, the use of ADHD medications surged by 85% among women aged 26 to 34. According to Dr. Emily Lawson, director of the Women’s ADHD Center, “the average diagnosis age for women with ADHD, who were not identified as children, falls between 36 and 38 years.” Prior to this, many women were often misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety, which may be secondary to untreated ADHD.
Historical Context
Historically, numerous women went undiagnosed due to various factors. The DSM-IV required symptoms to appear by age 7, primarily based on studies of white boys, focusing on hyperactivity and overlooking the fact that many girls may not exhibit symptoms until later in life. The DSM-V has since changed this criterion to age 12, allowing more women to receive appropriate diagnoses.
Different Manifestations of ADHD
There’s growing recognition of how ADHD manifests differently in adult women compared to young boys, who, according to the Mayo Clinic, often display hyperactive behaviors, such as being loud and constantly on the move. Women, however, may struggle to manage their finances or household tasks.
Many of us, as noted in a list from ADDitude Magazine, experience a sense of chaos in our lives. We might hesitate to invite friends over due to clutter, and the mere thought of adding one more task can trigger a sense of overwhelm. We often find ourselves perpetually “catching up” or “covering up” our struggles. Others might perceive us as inconsiderate because we neglect to send birthday or thank-you cards.
I vividly recall the struggle with my wedding thank-you notes. I procrastinated, then bought $75 worth of beautiful cards with the intention of writing personalized messages. Despite my enthusiasm, those notes remained unsent, sitting in my closet until our fifth anniversary. This isn’t the typical hyperactive behavior often associated with ADHD. Instead, it highlights how ADHD presents differently in women, contributing to diagnostic delays. An essay on ADHD and women in Quartz notes that girls typically exhibit the inattentive type, struggling with organization and appearing distracted. We often mask our symptoms to conform to societal expectations, making careless mistakes and daydreaming while hiding our social difficulties. Alarmingly, one study found that girls with ADHD are three to four times more likely to attempt suicide compared to their peers without ADHD.
The Impact of Untreated ADHD
The challenges of untreated ADHD extend into adulthood. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, around 50% of adults with ADHD also experience anxiety disorders, and many may face depression, bipolar disorder, or other psychiatric conditions. Dr. Linda Reaves, a clinical psychologist specializing in ADHD, emphasizes that we may have a “lost generation of women” who only receive diagnoses later in life and have learned to cope with the condition independently for years.
As awareness grows, so does the rate of diagnoses among women. Finding the right medication can be a challenge, especially when managing existing anxiety. Personally, I wrestled with imposter syndrome for a year post-diagnosis, doubting my ADHD diagnosis and feeling fraudulent about my struggles. I continue to confront remnants of a past filled with admonitions to “hurry up” and “stop daydreaming.”
Finding Hope
However, there is hope. If you recognize your symptoms in the lists provided by ADDitude Magazine, consider scheduling an appointment with your healthcare provider. You don’t have to be the mom who forgets essential items or feels buried beneath clutter. The overwhelming mess of tiny shoes, stuffed animals, and toys can be managed. You can become the parent you aspire to be without sacrificing your well-being in the process.
For more insights into ADHD and its impact on women’s lives, visit our other blog posts, including a detailed discussion on privacy matters here. If you’re interested in home insemination, this resource can provide valuable information. Additionally, WebMD offers an excellent overview of treatment options for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Women often go undiagnosed with ADHD due to differences in symptom presentation compared to men. With changing diagnostic criteria and increased awareness, more women are being diagnosed later in life. Understanding and addressing ADHD can lead to better management of daily tasks and overall well-being.