I vividly recall munching on Cheetos after school, the crunchy bits sticking to my mouth as I watched an Enjoli perfume commercial. It was the ’80s, and while I enjoyed being a girl and adored perfume, I found the ad absurd. The woman in it, with her perfect hair and glamorous outfit, was singing about balancing a career, raising kids, and still making time for her partner. My thoughts? Where was her partner during all those demanding moments—dinner, bath time, and bedtime?
Even at that young age, I questioned her enthusiasm for a life that appeared exhausting. When did she get to enjoy herself?
Don’t misunderstand me. I support women and their choices, and if being a “24/7 superwoman” is what someone wants, then great. But that’s just not me. I have my limits, and I refuse to spend my life tirelessly making everyone else happy all day, every day. That’s not my role.
Can we bring home the bacon? Absolutely. Women work just as hard, often earning 55 to 79 cents for every dollar a man makes, depending on various factors like race. Can we cook it up when we get home? Of course! We can grill bacon or whip up any meal like champs. However, I prefer to do that only occasionally—about 55% to 79% of the time feels right.
Some evenings, I choose to relax and order sushi, relishing it straight from the container. Other times, I declare it “whatever” night (translation: eat whatever you can scrounge), and it brings us all joy—especially me.
When it comes to parenting, I can manage with my hands tied behind my back. But if I want to save some energy for my partner later, I need help. My husband is a parent too; it’s not just “helping me” or “babysitting.” It’s about sharing responsibilities equally since we both chose to raise our kids together.
I’ve tried to embody that woman who does it all, and let me tell you, it only led to resentment and exhaustion. I realized I’d rather be happy than hear someone ask, “How do you manage everything?” The answer is simple: self-neglect. Just because you can be that tireless woman doesn’t mean you should be.
Though this commercial aired decades ago and times have changed, some pressures remain the same. Women today still feel compelled to achieve perfection—juggling careers, maintaining appearances, raising successful kids, volunteering, and embodying that mythical woman who appears to do it all flawlessly. But let’s face it: she doesn’t exist.
Deep down, we understand that trying to do everything leads to burnout. We become overwhelmed, moody, and drained. It’s not just you; many of us are grappling with this unrealistic expectation to be perfect. We can excel at a few things, but attempting to do it all will only result in chaos—both in our lives and in the lives of those around us.
If women struggle, the whole ship sinks faster than you can say, “Bring home the bacon.”
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In summary, it’s crucial to recognize our limitations and not succumb to the pressure of being a perfect 24/7 caretaker. Embracing our needs and sharing responsibilities can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life.