Before I became a parent, I had my mind made up about a few things: I would never drive a minivan, I would steer clear of yoga pants, and I would absolutely not be a mom who raised her voice at her children. I watched frazzled mothers in their stretchy pants herding their kids around town, and I was shocked by how quickly their tempers flared in public places like Target. I would stare in disbelief as a mom lost her cool in the grocery store, convinced that if I ever had kids, I would maintain my composure at all times.
Oh, how naive I was. Motherhood knocked me off my pedestal and introduced me to the reality of parenting. It turns out that a little yelling is part of the job description when raising children. I find myself eating my earlier words daily, whether I’m shushing my kids in church or using my “serious face” to convey my point when they’re misbehaving in public.
Yes, I am a mom who yells. But before you judge me too harshly, let me clarify: I’m not talking about screaming at the top of my lungs. Instead, I have come to understand that yelling can take many forms, and I suspect you might use some of these same tactics too.
1. Pursed Lips, aka “The Silent Scream”
Often paired with a stern “Get over here,” the pursed lips technique is perfect for those moments when your kids are acting up in front of relatives or causing chaos in a library. This method is especially effective for silencing your children in a movie theater.
2. Clenched Teeth, aka “I Said NO”
If you’ve ever wandered through a store and spotted a mom with her teeth clenched, you know she’s delivering an urgent message to her children. This is the go-to technique for when you just can’t handle saying no one more time, especially when the ice cream truck comes around.
3. The Single Eyebrow Raise, aka “Stop Right There”
I have mastered the art of the Single Eyebrow Raise. My kids know they’ve crossed a line when they see that eyebrow arch from across a crowded playground. This is best used in places like museums or parks when their behavior is getting out of hand but they’re out of earshot.
4. The Unsettling Smile, aka “The Singsong Voice”
Growing up, my siblings and I were experts at misbehaving at events where our parents were trying to impress others. We knew we were in trouble when our mom would use her overly sweet voice: “You need to stop that right now, sweetie!” That smile and those wide eyes were sure signs we’d hear about it later.
5. Complete and Total Rage, aka “Your Neighbors Will Hear”
I’ll admit, this form of yelling is not the most admirable, but we’ve all had those moments when we just lose it—like when your child spills an entire carton of eggs or flushes your favorite sweater down the toilet. It’s usually during these moments that you find yourself yelling with the windows wide open.
6. Total Silence, aka “Things Just Got Serious”
Then there are those times when silence speaks volumes. This is when you’re so overwhelmed with frustration that you can’t even muster a word. Mothers of teenagers know this well; when silence falls, it’s a signal that something serious has happened, and the kids can sense the gravity of the situation.
While I’m not proud of my moments of impatience, sometimes a mom has to resort to these tactics to keep her kids in line.
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In summary, motherhood often entails navigating a range of emotional responses, including various forms of yelling. From subtle gestures to outright rage, these tactics can help parents manage their children’s behavior in challenging situations.