As I serve dinner to my son, he shoots me that familiar look: “Mom! It’s touching!” He’s not a fan of his food mixing on the plate. Each item must have its own distinct space, as if life should always be neatly organized, much like a Bento box. Ketchup should never, ever touch the salad. But that’s not reality; sometimes, they collide. “Deal with it,” I say, perhaps a bit too quickly. “You can’t always keep everything separate.” This is true for dinner—and often, it mirrors life itself.
Recently, everything in my life seemed to converge: the messy, the uncomfortable, and the beautiful. We gathered as a family for the Jewish New Year, my daughter lost her first tooth, I celebrated turning 37, and we finally gave our baby her Hebrew name just days before her 8-month milestone. Amid these joyful moments, I found myself anxiously waiting for a phone call, enjoying the festivities but with a lingering “What if?” in the back of my mind.
Two weeks ago, I had my first baseline mammogram. By all accounts, I have no significant risk factors for breast cancer: I’m 37 with no family history and I don’t smoke. Yet, I have two breasts, and that alone carries a risk. The doctors reassured me that the spot they noticed appeared “friendly,” but they admitted they had no scientific evidence to support that notion. They couldn’t locate it during the ultrasound either. Their advice was to wait six months and see if anything changed, but I knew I couldn’t endure that uncertainty. After just six days of worry, I had eaten my weight in comfort food, particularly tater tots.
To gain clarity, I opted for a stereotactic biopsy. So, just before the Jewish New Year and all the celebrations, I found myself lying on a table with my right breast positioned for the procedure. The experience lasted about 90 minutes, and afterward, I was left with the bruising aftermath. And then, I waited again.
This waiting period gave me ample time to reflect on how, despite juggling countless responsibilities for others, I had never taken the time to check my own breasts. The act of performing a self-exam, which would only require about 45 seconds (maybe a minute if I was thorough), had always been sidelined. I was too busy rushing through showers, sending emails, preparing meals, and managing the daily chaos of life. I often put everyone else’s needs ahead of my own, neglecting my health in the process.
As I pulled into the preschool parking lot one morning, I was met by a parade of adorable kids clad in matching rain gear. Ladybugs, dinosaurs, and butterflies made their way to class, each dressed for the weather. In contrast, the mothers accompanying them looked frazzled, often drenched and juggling babies. Why did we make the choice to prioritize our children’s needs above our own? At what point did self-care become secondary?
It’s crucial for us to prioritize our health—not just for the sake of our families, but because we matter as individuals. Women are often told to take care of themselves for the benefit of their loved ones, but the reality is that we should be doing it for ourselves. Our health is paramount, not just as mothers, sisters, or partners, but simply because we are deserving of care and dignity.
As I step into my 37th year, I ask you to consider a few belated birthday wishes for yourself:
- Conduct a breast self-exam today. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just check for any changes. Mammograms typically start at 40, but there’s a lot that can happen before then.
- Use helpful apps like Keep a Breast or Your Man Reminder to remind yourself to check in on your health.
- If you’re over 40, ensure your mammogram is scheduled. If you’re under 40, discuss the possibility of a baseline mammogram with your doctor.
- Consider donating to support research for a cure. I’m contributing here, but there are many worthy causes—give what you can.
- Share this message with women in your life. Remind them that prioritizing their health is essential, not just because they’re someone’s mother or sister, but simply because they deserve it.
After an interminable six days, I received the call from my doctor: it was merely a lymph node and nothing to worry about. I’ll return in six months for a follow-up. Rather than feeling like I dodged a bullet, I feel awakened. I’ve been reminded to care for myself and to stay mindful. I’m filled with hope, love, and the knowledge that I’m now marked—literally—with a titanium clip in my breast to indicate where the doctors have been. But really, aren’t we all marked in some way?
So, take action today. Check your breasts and take charge of your health because you matter. For more insights on this topic, check out this post on Cervical Insemination. And if you’re looking for a reputable resource for at-home insemination syringe kits, visit Make a Mom’s BabyMaker. For comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, NHS is an excellent resource.
In summary, prioritize your health and self-care. You are important, and your well-being should always be at the top of your to-do list.
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