On Christmas Eve this year, just after midnight, I had just finished dashing around the house like a stealthy gazelle, making sure everything was set for the morning. As I emerged from the bathroom in my pajamas, ready to collapse into bed, I noticed my husband, Jake, pointing to my side of the bed where a beautifully wrapped bag from a well-known lingerie store awaited. My initial excitement quickly morphed into a grimace that I clearly didn’t manage to hide.
He quickly reassured me, “No! It’s part of your Christmas gifts, but I couldn’t give it to you in front of the kids! It’s not for tonight!” We both burst into laughter at the whirlwind of emotions I had just experienced.
When did this happen? When did Jake start buying me lingerie—with a catch?
I often find joy in putting together fun surprises for our daughters during holidays, but I often fall short when it comes to my husband. Usually, he gets a hastily purchased card, often after he has already surprised me with flowers.
In truth, Jake is far better at being thoughtful than I am. I recognize that I sometimes take his kindness for granted, yet there are moments when I consciously pause to acknowledge how fortunate I am to have him and our rather chaotic family. But those moments of gratitude can vanish quickly, and if I’m honest, I sometimes forget to prioritize him amidst the busyness of parenthood.
When I first moved to a new state to be with Jake, long before we had our daughters and the delightful chaos that followed, my favorite time of day was snuggling in bed while watching reruns of our favorite shows. It may not seem romantic, but those moments felt incredibly special after enduring a long-distance relationship. Even after years of living together, I would still feel a rush of excitement heading home to Jake.
I still light up when I know he’s about to come home, and my love for him remains strong (thank goodness he’s stuck with me for life!). But sometimes, amidst the whirlwind of motherhood, I find myself reminiscing about those cozy evenings spent watching our favorite shows.
Who would have thought that a show like that could feel so romantic? (And yes, I’m cringing as I type “romantic”; it’s not a term I typically embrace.)
Before we tied the knot, I experienced a fleeting panic that I didn’t want to fall into complacency. I worried about becoming just another married couple. When I was pregnant with our first daughter, I remember crying while Jake comforted me, fearing that becoming parents would change our dynamic.
What I didn’t realize then was that, as long as we continue to grow, change is inevitable, and that change can be positive for our relationship.
Sure, we may not have as much alone time as we’d like, but he still playfully smacks my behind as I rush past him to grab our daughter some milk. While we don’t jump into bed like giddy teenagers anymore, we doze off to news coverage in the background. Although spontaneous trips are a rarity, we have learned the art of patience, cherishing the moments we can carve out for ourselves.
Change is a part of our journey as a couple, and it opens the door for new adventures together.
Just last week, I sent Jake a message saying, “We need a date night soon. We’re starting to slip into the friend zone.” His reply? “Well, Google does have ‘FRIEND’ next to your chat photo.” I chuckled, ready to respond, but he quickly followed up with, “I just changed it. Now it says ‘My Gorgeous Wife I Love.’”
Reading that made my heart flutter, proving that those sweet, unexpected moments can far outweigh any television rerun.
For more insights on parenting and relationships, check out this wonderful resource on pregnancy and home insemination. Remember, as couples, we may not always stay the same but we can continually evolve together, navigating the beautiful chaos of family life.
Summary
Kids can push parents out of their comfort zones, leading to growth and positive changes in their marriages. Through the ups and downs of parenthood, couples can find joy in small moments and continue to nurture their relationships. The journey may not be what was initially expected, but embracing the changes can strengthen the bond between partners.