Yes, I’m that mom—the one who hangs around after pre-K drop-off, waiting by the bathroom while my son washes his hands. I’m the one who pulls out the paper towel for him, turns off the water, and makes sure he rinses the soap off his little hands.
I’m the mom who walks him to the breakfast table, announcing what’s on the menu, even though it’s clear to everyone else. While the other kids are already settled, pouring their own cereal or asking the teacher for assistance, I lay out a Styrofoam bowl, a plastic spoon, and a neatly folded napkin for him. I guide his hand as he pours the cereal and squat down beside him for a few minutes, chatting about his day ahead and what we’ll do when I pick him up.
I’m the mom who stays as long as he needs me, until he’s ready to say goodbye. When he asks me not to leave, I press my forehead against his and reassure him that we’re sending our thoughts to each other—whenever he thinks of me, I’ll think of him in return. I shower him with kisses and hugs, promising they’ll stay with him throughout the morning, even after I go. I’m often the last parent at pre-K, as others rush off shortly after dropping their kids off.
Tomorrow, I might leave a little sooner. Perhaps I’ll step out after he washes his hands, letting him seek help from the teacher during breakfast if he needs it. Maybe I’ll stand just outside the bathroom door while he washes up.
Or maybe not. My routine of nurturing him at school may continue for a few more weeks or even months. Perhaps I’ll keep it up in some form until the school year wraps up. The truth is, I don’t mind. I don’t feel the need to track when it’s time to encourage his independence.
One day, he’ll want to do everything himself. Soon enough, he’ll come to class and engage with friends, forgetting I’m there. Before I know it, he’ll be like my older son, who sometimes still allows me a quick kiss at drop-off but wipes it away as he runs off to line up with his classmates.
I’m done apologizing for cherishing my son. I no longer compare him to other kids or parents at pre-K, the playground, or even on social media. He will only be this little for a fleeting moment, and only he and I will decide when the “babying” phase will come to an end.
We are dancing our own mother-son dance. Sometimes we’re close enough to touch, while at other times, one of us drifts away, exploring our own worlds before returning to each other. Most of the time, we’re improvising, following our instincts, driven by love.
The things I do for my son provide him comfort, and why shouldn’t I offer that? It eases his daily separations, which he is still adjusting to. The world can be daunting, and perhaps that’s why some parents rush their kids toward independence. But that’s precisely why I want to offer him the warmth of closeness for as long as I can.
I know I could encourage him to be more independent without any negative effects. However, I choose to take my time for no other reason than because I can and he wants me to. Before I know it, he won’t seek my closeness, and I’ll miss these moments dearly.
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Summary
This article reflects on a mother’s nurturing approach towards her son during his early school years, emphasizing the importance of cherishing these moments while recognizing that independence will naturally develop over time.