The Case for a ‘Just Us’ Holiday

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If you were to ask my children what they wish to do on Christmas morning, the answer would be simple: “Stay home all day in our pajamas and play with our new toys.” It’s as straightforward as that, and for the past few holiday seasons, we’ve embraced this idea without any regrets.

However, it wasn’t always this way. In the years before we had kids, Christmas was a cherished time spent in Maine with our extended family. This tradition brought us joy, allowing us to escape our bustling city lives and enjoy the guarantee of a snowy holiday. The home we visited was beautifully decorated, and our family members were welcoming and kind.

But everything changed with the arrival of our first child a decade ago. Our once-enjoyable trip to Maine morphed into a chaotic ordeal. Our newborn was a car screamer, turning what should have been a four-hour drive into an exhausting eight-hour journey filled with constant stops to calm him.

Once we finally reached our destination, despite the warmth of our family’s hospitality, it was far from a peaceful experience. Our baby’s routine was thrown off, and he was drawn to every delicate decoration in the house that wasn’t babyproofed. That Christmas, instead of a festive breakfast, I recall him munching on pinecones and tinsel.

We optimistically thought the following year would improve, but as we continued to make the trip, it became clear that traveling with kids during the holidays was not as delightful as we had imagined. The packing and unpacking seemed to consume more time than the actual enjoyment of being there. The car screams subsided, but crankiness persisted, and with the addition of a second child, the chaos started all over again.

As our kids grew, they began to express a longing for holiday traditions in the comfort of our own home. Isn’t it natural for children to want a cozy, familiar setting, especially during such a magical time of year? Don’t they want to spend Christmas morning lounging around, playing with the toys they’ve been dreaming about for months?

So, a few years back, we decided to break from our Christmas tradition and no longer travel to Maine. Making that decision was not easy. The holidays can be a sensitive subject, filled with guilt and pressure. Not everyone understood our choice, and some were quick to voice their disagreement.

Breaking tradition, especially during the holidays, is undeniably challenging. However, it’s essential to prioritize what works for your family. Over the years, as we’ve grown, we’ve become more confident in establishing our boundaries.

Admittedly, I miss the special moments spent with extended family during the holidays, as I cherish the bond my children share with their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. Yet, there is a unique magic in celebrating the holidays at home with my immediate family, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

A “just us” holiday means late nights filled with popcorn and holiday movies like A Charlie Brown Christmas and Miracle on 34th Street until the kids fall asleep in my arms. I can carry them to bed and collapse beside them, relishing the quiet moments until morning. It means waking up together on Christmas morning, indulging in leftover cookies for breakfast, and knowing there are no obligations or expectations to meet—no need to dress up or rush anywhere.

This experience allows us to bake together in our pajamas without the worry of disrupting someone else’s kitchen and avoids the complexities of managing numerous personalities and preferences regarding holiday traditions. We can fully enjoy our time off without the hassle of packing and traveling, savoring every lazy moment with our family.

This approach brings significantly less stress—because why should the holidays be about that? Yes, it can mean breaking traditions, which might upset some people, but it also opens the door to creating new traditions that will be cherished by our children for a lifetime.

So, if you feel overwhelmed by family obligations during the holiday season and believe that spending time at home with just your immediate family would be the best choice, don’t hesitate. Embrace it. Let go of the past and redefine the holiday in a way that feels right for you. I assure you, it will be just as magical as you’ve envisioned.

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Summary:

The article discusses the author’s shift from traditional holiday gatherings with extended family to embracing “just us” holidays at home with their immediate family. It highlights the joys and stressors of holiday travel with children, emphasizing the importance of establishing personal family traditions that prioritize comfort and togetherness.

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