I strongly believe that every child, even those as young as 3 or 4, deserves answers to their endless “why” inquiries. While it can be overwhelming and tiring to engage with each question, I think our children deserve responses just like we would offer to another adult. This is what I aspire for in my mind.
Yet, my heart knows that despite my desire to address every “why,” I don’t always have the time, energy, or inclination to provide thorough explanations. In those moments, the phrase “Because I said so” tends to escape my lips. I genuinely dislike saying it; it feels like a shortcut, as though my kids are unworthy of a valid reason, and I’m merely trying to move past their questions to keep our day on track. That’s not always the case, though.
Sometimes, time is of the essence. We might be in a rush to leave for an appointment, and when they ask, “Why do we have to go to the doctor?” I would prefer to elaborate on how the doctor helps keep us healthy and strong. Unfortunately, with only three minutes to spare, I find myself saying, “Because I said so. Now get in the car.”
Or take bedtime, for instance. After completing their nightly routine, which seems to stretch longer with each passing year, I turn off the light and prepare to leave the room. Then, inevitably, I hear, “Mom, why can’t we have snacks in bed?” My mind races with reasons about crumbs, cleanliness, and pests, but at this point, it’s far past their bedtime. Thus, “Because I said so” becomes my response as I shut the door behind me.
I understand the significance of explaining my reasoning to my children, which in turn helps them to approach their own future offspring with patience. I wish I could provide thoughtful responses every single time they ask a question, but the reality is that children can be relentless in their curiosity, and sometimes I just want to unwind with a glass of wine.
Moreover, there’s a matter of parental respect, too. As a character from a popular show would say, “Respect my authority!” There are appropriate times for questions, kids, but when I’ve asked you to do something — or not do something — it’s essential to follow my instructions rather than bombard me with a barrage of “whys.”
We have your entire future to explore your questions, but the moments right before school starts are not ideal for deep discussions.
With sincerity, I hope that as my children grow older, they will ask fewer “why” questions, but that those they do ask will carry more depth and meaning. Questions like “Why can’t I color on the bathroom wall?” pale in comparison to deeper inquiries like “Why does my friend have two dads?” Additionally, I aspire to find more time and patience to respond lovingly and kindly to them. For now, though, my little ones, aged 3 and 4, must learn that there’s a time for questions, a time for thoughtful answers, and a time to respect Mom’s authority because she said so.
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In summary, while I might not always have the time to explain every detail to my kids, it’s crucial for them to understand that following directions is part of growing up. As they mature, I hope for more meaningful conversations and a stronger bond that allows for open dialogue.