When I was growing up, I often felt out of place at parties, eager to leave after an hour, and secretly rejoicing whenever social plans fell through. Was I just shy, socially awkward, or maybe a bit unfriendly? Nope! I eventually discovered I was an introvert who actually enjoyed socializing—but primarily in small doses or one-on-one. Once I understood my introverted nature, life became significantly easier and more enjoyable.
However, stepping into motherhood added a twist to this journey. As a full-time stay-at-home mom during my child’s early years, I craved companionship even though I still wasn’t a huge fan of socializing. The friendships I forged during this time became some of my most treasured relationships, but navigating the world of mom friends as an introvert was not without its hurdles. Here’s what I learned through my experiences:
1. Quality Over Quantity in Friendships
You don’t need a large circle of mom friends unless that’s what you want. Introverts often have a keen sense of their limits, but societal norms can make us doubt our instincts. Some may thrive with just one or two close friends, while others might desire a few more. And remember, motherhood can shift your capacity for deep connections as you pour your energy into raising kids. It’s perfectly fine to keep your circle small.
2. Say No to Overcommitting
I once had a friend who managed to cram two or three playdates into a single day (yes, seriously). I couldn’t wrap my head around it! After one playdate, I was completely drained, and so was my child—who turned out to be an introvert too. Daily playdates? No thanks! I needed breathing room. No shame in taking time to recharge.
3. Choose Uplifting Friends Who Respect Your Space
As a new mom, I became more selective about the people I let into my life. Early motherhood was filled with uncertainty and stress, so I wanted friends who uplifted me and understood my need for quiet moments. Surround yourself with those who appreciate your need for solitude rather than judging it.
4. Balance Your Needs with Your Child’s Social Life
It can be challenging when your child craves social interaction, but don’t forget that your needs are just as important. If your little one wants multiple playdates during the week and you’re comfortable with just one, find a middle ground. Enlist your partner’s help too; they can take the kids to events that might overwhelm you, allowing you to recharge.
5. Online Friendships Are Valid
I’ve developed some of my closest friendships online, often with like-minded individuals who share my interests in parenting. These connections can be just as meaningful as in-person friendships, and for introverts, the ease of online communication can make socializing feel much less daunting.
Keep in mind that friendships for those of us with introverted tendencies will naturally look different. Don’t pressure yourself to keep up with others or overload your schedule to the point where it induces anxiety. You define your motherhood journey, including how social it is. Ultimately, what matters is having friends who embrace you for who you are, not who they want you to be.
For more insights, you might want to check out our post on home insemination. If you’re interested in resources on pregnancy, visit NICHD for excellent information. And for a comprehensive guide on insemination, take a look at Make a Mom.
Summary
Navigating friendships as an introverted mom can be challenging, but it’s essential to prioritize quality over quantity in your social interactions. It’s perfectly fine to maintain a small circle, take breaks between playdates, and choose friends who uplift you. Balancing your needs with your child’s desire for socialization is key, and remember that online friends are valid too. Above all, embrace motherhood in a way that feels right for you.