Christmas is a time of year I adore—the magic in the air, the way people seem to care more about one another, and the joy that fills homes. Charities often thrive during this season, and kids belt out carols in school performances. Amidst the commercial chaos, it can still be a beautiful time for families to unite, with children buzzing in anticipation of the big day.
So, why would I disrupt this festive cheer by telling my sweet daughter, Sophie, that Santa Claus doesn’t exist?
Let me clarify: I’m not saying this approach works for every child. My daughter has autism, and I felt it was best to explain the truth about Santa for several reasons:
- Literal Thinking Caused Distress: Sophie’s literal interpretation of things led to confusion and anxiety over Santa. Every book and show depicted him coming down the chimney, but we don’t have one! No amount of magic keys or window-flying stories could relieve her worries. She couldn’t reconcile how Santa could be in a mall, at a school party, and in the North Pole all at once. Why did some Santas wear glasses while others didn’t? Why did they come in different shapes and sizes? For a child who sees the world in black and white, pretending is not an option.
- Sleep Disruptions: The very idea of a strange man entering her home while she slept was terrifying for Sophie. Instead of excitement, the notion of Santa only heightened her anxiety. She would lie awake worrying about how he could carry all those presents or if he might forget her—thanks a lot, Peppa Pig! Simply mentioning Santa caused her to jump at every doorbell ring, and I couldn’t bear to see her so frightened over something that’s meant to be joyful.
- Social Pressures Were Overwhelming: While she had never seen Santa in a grotto, events at school made her anxious. After years of teaching her not to talk to strangers and not to sit on someone’s lap, it was jarring to see her peers break these rules for a man in a red suit. For Sophie, adhering to rules is crucial, and Santa became a source of distress, linking to the confusing behavior of others.
- Prioritizing Love for Her Brother: This was the tipping point for me. Sophie has a brother, Ethan, who has complex needs and sometimes displays challenging behaviors. When someone told her that Ethan would be on Santa’s “naughty” list, she expressed a deep resentment toward Santa. At that moment, I knew I had to tell her the truth.
Telling Sophie that Santa isn’t real turned out to be the best decision I could’ve made. Suddenly, everything fell into place for her. She understood why Santa couldn’t be in multiple places at once, realized the chimney story was just that—a story—and no longer feared a stranger coming into her home while she slept. More importantly, she became reassured that Ethan would still receive gifts, despite any challenges he may face.
In hindsight, I wish I’d told her sooner. Now that she knows Santa is a fictional character, she is more excited about Christmas than ever. She knows who buys the presents and how we get them. For some children with autism, the real magic of Christmas may lie in discovering that Santa isn’t real at all.
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In summary, my experience with Sophie taught me that sometimes breaking down myths can lead to greater understanding and happiness, especially for children who think differently.