A few years back, my partner decided to start a little family experiment: every time one of us dropped an F-bomb, we’d toss a quarter into the Swear Jar. When it filled up, the kids would get the loot. First off: Are you kidding me? I ended up throwing in $10 to cover my summer swearing spree, which left the kids a bit puzzled. They don’t quite grasp the concept of money yet, so they thought I was handing them a fortune. My partner, however, took the challenge seriously and drained our savings faster than I could say “swear jar.”
Once the kids cashed out, we promptly ditched that policy and returned to our unrestricted vocabulary. Here are five reasons why:
- Because I’m an Adult.
Sure, adulthood doesn’t always live up to the fantasy I had as a child (I imagined a life of beach driving with Zack Morris, not dealing with bills and laundry). But one perk of being a grown-up is the freedom to express myself however I please. No grounding necessary—score! - Because They’re Kids.
I know I should set a good example. That’s why I wear pants to drop-offs, even if my winter coat makes them unnecessary. But while I’m here to guide my kiddos, they’re not adults yet. Until they are, I embrace the “do as I say, not as I do” philosophy. They can’t swear, drive, or drink fancy cocktails—let them enjoy the anticipation! - Because Kids Speak in Code.
With kids, it’s all about “making a tinkle,” “doing a doodie,” and other adorable gibberish. Who knows what half of it even means? Strategic swearing helps cut through the nonsense. When my usually easygoing 8-year-old son upset his sister, I made it clear: “Stop being a little brat.” A couple of wide-eyed blinks told me he understood—I wasn’t messing around. - Because Parenting is Full of Surreal Moments.
Let’s face it: parenting is a whirlwind of chaos. Whether I’m extracting a Lego from my foot again, fishing a sock out of the toilet (“But Mom! It looked like a paper towel!”), or trying to bake cupcakes at midnight for a morning party, I need to voice my frustrations. Sometimes, I just need everyone to chill so I can figure it out! - Because I’ve Sacrificed Enough.
As a mom, I’ve given up sleep, sanity, and my favorite jeans, among other things. Must I also sacrifice my way of speaking and self-expression? Oh, heck no!
So, if you’ve managed to raise your little ones without ever letting out a single curse word during those sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, congratulations. Just be sure to remind them to cover their ears before visiting me, because they might just hear some adult language.
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Summary:
Swearing in front of kids is a topic that sparks debate among parents. While some choose to filter their language, others, like Jamie Thompson, embrace the freedom of adult expression. With five humorous reasons, she explains why she doesn’t hold back, emphasizing the difference in age, the absurdity of parenting, and the sacrifices made along the way. For those interested in fertility and home insemination, there are valuable resources available to explore.